Know-vember: Your Humble Narrator

I want to thank all the wonderful friends who took part in Know-vember. It was a delight to share. I think I may well make this an annual event. Yes, as promised, I will now turn the tables on myself. Don't you already know too much about me? You must be part of the Cult of Kaity or you wouldn't be coming by here, surely, so you must have heard me blather on and on for the--what?!--six years I have been blogging here. From Texas to New York to Galway. Where will I be next? What will I be doing? If I knew, would I tell you? Probably, but first I'd have to know. Wow, didn't the fabulous Queen of Everything make me look good here? This is one of the pictures that hung in her first gallery show. I am art!

1. What's the first thing you do upon waking in the morning?

I pick up my phone to see if I have any messages from my sweetie and then I check Twitter (and then Facebook and email and...) and then I finally get out of bed and make some tea (black with one sweetner. If there is no sweetener, I do not add sugar because I do not like sugar: never milk!). 

2. What's a song you might be persuaded to dance to?

I will dance to nearly anything with a beat and a few things that have none. Anything from Vic Reeves' fantastic version of "Dizzy" to Fred Astaire's version of "Cheek to Cheek" -- particular faves include Tori's "Raspberry Swirl" and Dee-Lite's "Groove is in the Heart." 

3. Where in the world do you live?

I live in lovely Galway and every day I stop to think how lucky I am to be here. Life is good and there are magpies outside my window on Eyre Square. I walk down by the bay and am filled with wonder to be in this wonderful world.

4. What's a great night out for you?

I am happiest with a good meal, some tasty drinks, maybe a little dancing or a concert with great music: essential -- good friends with lots of laughs (friends who make me laugh are the best gift of all). That said, an evening down the pub with my friends is aces.

5. What's a great night in?

A good movie and a cuddle in front of the fire with my sweetie. A real fire would be best, but at present I have a fake coal fire and he has no fireplace at all, so we have to make our own sparks. 

6. If you were offered an all expenses paid trip anywhere in the world,where would you go?

Around the world I would go, for sure for sure. I have always wanted to go to Egypt and India, but as long as I were going there I'd want to go to New Zealand too and then why not Japan and China and then Russia and back through Scandinavia and to Finland again and Iceland too -- on and on. Macchu Picchu! Rio! Everywhere.

7. What book do you wish everyone would read so you could talk about it?

I would say Alice in Wonderland which people tend to know from movies rather than the real book and it is one of those lynchpins of my life, but I'd also want to get people to read Beowulf (in the original!) so I could just recite lines from it at random and be understood (well, I already recite lines at random, but people tend to stare at me). I should be smart and say one of my books...

8. What movie makes you cry?

Lots of movies make me cry! I'm a sap. Guaranteed tear-jerkers include Auntie Mame, Now Voyager, The Women, Dark Victory, An Affair to Remember, Persuasion, Sense and Sensibility -- oh, the list goes on and on!

9. What makes you laugh?

Peter Cook, Peter Cook, Peter Cook! HAHAHA -- unexpected that, right? And Tony Hancock, the Goons, Pythons, Goodies, AbFab, Black Books, The Mighty Boosh, Blackadder, and all my witty friends.

10. Are there fairies at the bottom of your garden?

I am the fairy at the bottom of the garden but I moved inside because my toes were cold.

Thank you all for a fantastic month of sharing.

Know-vember: Todd Mason

Todd, of course, shows up here frequently whether as a fellow participant and sometime host of Friday's Forgotten Books and the host of Tuesday's Overlooked A/V or just as one of the regular kibitzers. He's on the left in this picture from a family wedding.

1. What's the first thing you do upon waking in the morning?

Pat/skritch the dominant, female cat in the house, Niki, who has probably awakened me so I can pat her and then feed the entire trio of household cats. 

2. What's a song you might be persuaded to dance to?

Some of the music I've actually danced to: THE MAIDEN IN THE TOWER performed by the Brubeck Quartet (a ballet suite that Brubeck didn't complete, but on the album COUNTDOWN the quartet recorded four pieces DB had finished); "She Said Yeah" as recorded by the Rolling Stones; "She's Not There" by the Zombies (introduced a party full of fellow high-schoolers, including eventual pro musician Deb Fox, to them at that time); THE FREEDOM NOW SUITE by Max Roach, et al.; Jawbox’s “Twister” and The Specials’ “Ghost Town.”

3. Where in the world do you live?

A house in Collingswood, NJ, though I also rent an apartment in Media, PA...but entirely too much time is spent in a gray cubicle in Radnor, PA. 

4. What's a great night out for you?

Good conversation, a good meal, perhaps a performance and a good bookstore (a/v materials also good). 

5. What's a great night in?

Conversation, meal, sex, perhaps other performance, and good literature (a/v materials also good). 

6. If you were offered an all expenses paid trip anywhere in the world, where would you go?

Tough call. I so rarely enjoy travel, having had entirely too much of the bad sort in my youth. There are all sorts of places I'd be interested in seeing, but getting there is less than half the fun. If it isn't a round-the-world journey, with many destinations (with rest breaks between), I'd be torn between, say, Italy and Australia, Guyana and Japan... 

7. What book do you wish everyone would read so you could talk about it?

I've spent several years citing those weekly, but among the very best ones are THE EXILE by William Kotzwinkle, LIVING MY LIFE by Emma Goldman, CONJURE WIFE by Fritz Leiber, THE FEMALE MAN by Joanna Russ, THE ENQUIRIES OF DR. ESZTERHAZY by Avram Davidson, THE ALEPH AND OTHER STORIES, 1933-1969 by Jorge Luis Borges, GOING OUT OF OUR MINDS by Sonia Johnson, TROPHIES AND DEAD THINGS by Marcia Muller. Dozens of others. 

8. What movie makes you cry?

In reverse chronological order, among those I recall causing some tears to well: SHAME (the Bergman sf film); PONETTE (who doesn't love a good setpiece of an recently-orphaned child of about six being tormented for her status by schoolmates?); PATHS OF GLORY (with the laughter); THE 400 BLOWS; SNOOPY COME HOME; "The Last of the Curlews" (the first ABC AFTERSCHOOL SPECIAL...they were trying, then). 

9. What makes you laugh?

Unexpected jokes, and well-executed expected ones. Humor that is not about others getting hurt (chided is OK). 

10. Are there fairies at the bottom of your garden?

David Campton's "At the Bottom of the Garden" convinced me at a young age to have them ruthlessly extirpated. 

Thank you!

You're welcome.

Know-vember

Ah ha! I woke up with an idea this morning to do another round of interviews on the blog (inspired by Alan Partridge of course). I'm always taken aback when I realise how many of my friends don't know each other -- not surprising I suppose with my globe-trotting ways, but I always seem to assume that anyone who knows me knows everyone else I know.

Silly me!

So I've sent out the first round of invitations to people I thought might be cajoled into participating. It's meant to be fun, not onerous in any way! You don't even have to tell the truth. Just a way to share the wonderful people I know with each other -- and yes! Of course I will turn the tables on myself at the end of the month. You needn't wait for an invitation: feel free to email me and say you want to be part of Know-vember. Because you do!

What happens when a joke goes overboard on Twitter? You start a Tumblr page:

Pirate Pub

Photo

July 25, 2011

Feel free to submit your requests to join the crew, including desired job title, or simply arrrrsk me a question about our floating pub. Be sure to add your suggestions for the world-wide pub crawl. It's been a welcome break from the insanity of the last few days.

A bright but troubled light left us. Sad to hear.

BitchBuzz: How to Cope with the Summer Heat

My column this week focuses on the horrible hot and humid weather we're having in a less than serious fashion. Everyone on Twitter will recognise the various stages in composition yesterday (and thanks, Lucy for the penguin comment). The three years, eleven months, six days, twelve hours and fifteen minutes I spent in Houston all come back to me on days like these. I look forward to the cool and cloudy days in western Ireland. And yes, there's a Fall song for this:

How to Cope with the Summer Heat

By K.A. Laity

Because murder's not really an option…probably.

In upstate New York, we're in the midst of a heatwave that doesn't seem to be abating anytime soon. Those with air conditioning or central air stay inside and collapse in the flow. Those without, suffer.

At this time of year, it seems we have to choose between heat-induced cabin fever and melting into a pool of our own sweaty effluence. Surely there must be other options, you say. Of course there are. Here are a few you might consider:

Skinny dip in your neighbour's pool

Sure, you could ask permission or flatter your neighbour until they grudgingly admit you to the watery paradise, but it's far more fun to wait until they are out and simply drop your glad rags and dive in. Extra points for leaving your trash, empty bottles, used condoms and undesirable clothing behind...

As always, read the rest at BBHQ, the Honest Women's Magazine (as we are now called).

I headed down to have dinner with Robert last night; I'm always grateful for a good meal :-) not to mention leftovers, a load of laundry, fresh-picked blackberries and the first peach of the season. Connor is as bouncy as ever. Hard to get a good picture of him as he's always in motion. But here's one:

Join the Cult of Kaity!

The fabulous Queen of Everything, Stephanie Johnson -- my co-conspirator in the Women's League of Ale Drinkers, the gathering place for creative women -- designed these fabulous labels for my fictional cult's official drink, Stargrove Citrus. The cult idea sprang from a silly conversational thread on Facebook, as often happens (though oddly there were no fainting goats this time). I love how Stephanie can be inspired by chance remarks and come up with such evocative visions (like our Bison Power line of gifts and the St. Urho Day logo). N.B. "Kaity" is pronounced, like "Laity," with three syllables.

Now all I need are some followers -- and a crown!

BitchBuzz: Exporting Halloween

The last of my Halloween-themed columns (probably!) deals with the fun of Halloween and veers off into Heyer-ville for no apparent reason. As I am re-thinking my costuming needs for the weekend, I feel absolutely devoid of imagination, so who knows what will happen. Heading off to the Poe conference tonight -- maybe I'll finally get a schedule of events. Back to UMass a couple more times and then down to Connecticut for Halloween itself. Let's hope I'll have made up my mind about my costume by then.

A disgruntled Guardian reader (is there really any other kind?) derided Halloween as a “ghastly American import” and moaned about the need to herd children around on their forays for candy. Considering the dire nature of most American imports (McDonald’s, baseball caps, L. Ron Hubbard), I think Halloween is a reason to celebrate.

Think of it: Pumpkins! Free candy! An excuse for parties! Dressing up!

Read the rest -- and a slew of interesting articles -- over at BitchBuzz HQ.

Arrr!

Avast, scalawags -- ye know what day it be!

Soap Opera Digest

Titmuss Street: Babs and Henry finally agree to give the kitchen a much needed make-over, while ignoring Frederick's pleas for help from under the floorboards. Felix, fretful over his creeping baldness, shaves the cat in a desperate attempt at camouflage. Hilda, however, remains unimpressed and leaves the gallery opening with Carlo, who intimates to Felix that he will be painting Hilda later (without a canvas). Marnie waits.

'Round Uxbridge: Ralph and Penelope continue their affair, although she finds there is too much friction between them and starts fantasizing about Teddy's gentle ways. Over lunch she confides to Sarah that she will ask Ralph to change from leather restraints to silk, but Sarah conceals that she, too, is sleeping with Ralph and has already claimed the silk. Pauline drowns her sorrows in bitter, but they prove able to float. She conveys her myriad disappointments to Ralph over dinner, but finds her brother distracted and instead turns to Teddy, who immediately reveals that he has come to the realisation that he is gay and has fallen for her brother. Ralph calls Sylvia suggesting an evening of Nutella and spoons.

Netherwood End: Because he is unable to hide his accounting irregularities, Peter avoids meeting with Linda, fearing she will fire him, unaware that she is working to bring the company to bankruptcy because Old Netherwood once ruined her father. Patsy discovers the second set of books and forces Peter to acquiesce to her soft toy fetish. Bertram spots the two of them together at Hamley's and immediate files for divorce. A clerk in the store uses his mobile to record their inappropriate encounter with an elephant puppet and puts it online, although it is dismissed as a hoax.

Frithville Five: Spurned by Rodrigo, Millicent heads to Harvey Nichols for a shopping orgy only to run into the Babcock twins, who convince her to pleasure them in the intimate apparel fitting room. It seems the perfect pick-me-up until the constables arrive. The consequent headlines help Caroline distract Kevin from thinking about her pregnancy and its unlikelihood while she concocts a plausible medical excuse. Bunny cleans. Lawrence, in a fit of pique, shoots his father, who complains bitterly about the ungrateful youth of today.

More Importantly

The Withnail & I cottage is going on sale! I must have it -- my pal Peg and I have decided we must scheme to make it ours, so please give generously so we can go re-create the film's misadventures. Yes, yes -- of course you can come visit. Hare optional.

The farmhouse goes under the hammer at the Berkeley Hotel in Knightsbridge, London, on 16 February, with a guide price of £145,000.

Hello Kitty auf Deutsch

I forgot to mention Elena's faboo gift -- a German Hello Kitty magazine. It came with a cool silver clutch bag, too! It has articles on things like which color scheme fits you, how to make egg-warmers (it's the March 2008 issue and has an Easter theme -- I couldn't find this issue's cover on line) and how to learn to say "Nein!" to things you don't really want to do. Amazing! Thanks, Elena!

My Brilliant Career

Good-bye academia, I will now be devoting my life to raising these fine creatures for fun and profit...

What was that Name?

We had lunch today with Dan, Krista and Kaitlin which was great. If only I could remember the name of that restaurant where we ate. It's on the tip of my tongue...

SF Pix

The Botanical Gardens in Golden Gate Park -- gorgeous!


Among the seemingly endless "Don't" signs at the Botanical Gardens was one demanding you not feed the squirrels; however, coming up to a huge cypress tree we were suddenly surrounded by a herd of squirrels all of whom clearly expected to be fed, but we remained obdurate, instead trying to snap pictures of them which did not appease the little rodents in the least.


The DeYoung Museum from the fountain between it and the Academy of Sciences, both of which were completely booked due to it being the Saturday after Xmas -- a fact which had eluded us and hundreds of others who sought admission.


The Conservatory of Flowers


Haight-Ashbury: just as you pictured it, eh?

Xmas Pix

Murray on the tree top

Xmas Chicken (Robert wouldn't hold it still)

Fine plate o' Xmas cookies (nice work, boys)

When Little Joe the Krampus Met

Hop on over to Radio Wombat for the latest podcast, "When Little Joe the Krampus Met" which is also available in a quieter version as a chapbook if you prefer. Perfect for holiday gifts, unless you want to go totally BISON for the season (and who doesn't?).

It's barely registered with me that it's December already. So much to do -- grading to finish and more to come next week. Lots of other work in between those papers as well. Somehow it will all get done, eh? Isn't that what I always say? Hope I'm right!

The Brothers Laity

Publication: The Princess and Her Pig

On line now at New Fairy Tales magazine, you will find my poem "The princess and her pig" with a cute illustration and a picture of the real princess, Sophie with her pig. The magazine is chock full of gorgeous illustrations and wonderful stories and poems. Enjoy! (If you do enjoy it, please consider giving a little to the Derian House Children's Hospice.)

The picture to the left is by the very wonderful Faye Durston, one of the featured illustrators. Check out her work at her site.

Fiction/Non-Fiction

From the official Empire State Building site:

Narrating the tour is Tony, a fictional, but nonetheless authentic, native New Yorker born 50 years ago in Chelsea, an area of Manhattan not yet the hot, trendy neighborhood it is today. The tour is written from Tony’s point of view and is filled with his colorful, amusing and informative observations about his favorite city . . . and his favorite building.

Huh? I think I might like to be fictional yet authentic. Maybe I am -- who knows?

AbFab-gasm?

(click on the picture to embiggen and read the fine print)