Boxing Day v St Stephen's Day

I'm packed and ready for the next journey -- meeting Miss Wendy in Dublin which ought to be a lot of fun, but makes it no less difficult to leave Dundee. A bus to Edinburgh Airport then a flight to Dublin and one more bus into the city centre. Hopefully Miss Wendy is having a chance to sleep off her jet lag as she should be there already. I leave the UK where it's Boxing Day and arrive in Ireland where it's St Stephen's Day. Will I feel the difference?

I'm over at the New England Horror Writers blog today with a little information on Dundee's Howff: drop by and enjoy!

A Writer Discovers the Famous Dundee Cemetery

by Kate Laity

The Dundee Dragon (picture by Kate Laity)

I have a lot of New England friends who enjoy exploring the graveyards of the northeast and probing the histories behind them, so it’s a treat to be able to visit an even older cemetery here in Dundee where I am spending Christmas. Of course the big holiday in Scotland is Hogmanay, but I have to be back in Ireland this year, so I’m going to miss it. Dundee also has a famous dragon as well, though it’s best known for the three Js: jute, jam and journalism. The jute mills once employed much of the population, until jute production was outsourced to India in the 1920s. Orange marmalade continues to be a staple of British tables. And Dundee remains the home of DC Thomson, creator of The Beano, The Dandy and The Sunday Post... [read the rest]

Did you get a Kindle or some other reading device for your holidays? Need something to read on it? I have some suggestions :-)

BitchBuzz: Making Small Talk

The light begins its return today: a relief. It was beginning to seem like the sun had gone down before I'd properly gotten up. Then again, that could be due to my lazy schedule. I am getting some good relaxing in :-) and a bit of writing, too, as well as watching Allan battle angry penguins in cars (o_O).

It's Short Story Day, I hear. May I suggest my collection Unikirja? Or if you like something more gruesome how about It's a Curse: Drunk on the Moon 7. Guaranteed quality!

My column today may seem a tad ironic: who's less qualified than me to talk about conversational skills? Ah, but those who can't do, teach or so I'm told. Better than I used to be.

Dos and Don'ts for Holiday Small Talk

By K.A. Laity

Holidays bring the often trying task of making small talk with people you do not really know, whether they are co-workers in distant cubicles, business acquaintances you've never really had a chance to develop a rapport with or relatives you can't actually recall having met before, or at least not since the age of three. While Oscar Wilde maintained that, "Conversation about the weather is the last refuge of the unimaginative," I say any port in a storm when faced with days of chit chat with unfamiliar people.


As a person accustomed to spending the better part of her time alone, I find it taxing to make conversation. Like most introverts, I am stressed by time spent in groups.


While I have been able to develop extrovert abilities for my professional life, the fact remains that I am not a good conversationalist except with a few intimate friends (or online -- the internet is a great gift to introverts). But it can be possible to make small talk without falling into Eliza Doolittle perils...

Read the useful tips over at BBHQ. I guess penguins are the theme of the day :-) Yes, I was pleased to work in that scene from My Fair Lady as well as The Testing of Eric Olthwaite. Black pudding at the ready!

Glorious Yule

Hello from the swirling mists of the haar. Tonight is the longest night; by the early hours of the morning the light will begin its return. May the return of the light bring you new hope and inspiration. Spring will come again. These long nights provide a great focus for contemplative work and transformation, a crysalis of dark shadows. What will burst forth from yours come the sun?

Know-vember: Mark Walker

In the States, today is Thanksgiving day; depending on who you ask it's either a day to commemorate when the Pilgrims survived the vagaries of New England despite their ignorance and arrogance with considerable help from some of the indigenous folks (who would come to regret that kindness), or it's a day to stuff yourself comatose with all kinds of foods and watch sporting events while ignoring endless family arguments.

Okay, it's also a day to show you're grateful and give thanks, so while I'm grateful for all the friends I'm featuring in Know-vember (and all the ones who didn't let me feature them here >_<) I am especially grateful for this friend. He's why I'll be going back to Scotland for my birthday and Xmas, too. Here's a very sweet picture of Mark with his son Allan.

 

1. What's the first thing you do upon waking in the morning?

I reach for you. If you are not there, I reach for my phone and look for messages from you instead.

2. What's a song you might be persuaded to dance to?

I love to dance so will be quite happy to dance to pretty much anything. Personal favourites include: Panic by The Smiths, ABBA’s Dancing Queen and anything by The Fall. [Ed: smart man!]

3. Where in the world do you live?

I live in a little house in Dundee, Scotland. It looks a bit like Paddy’s market in places but it's home and I like to think full of love.

4. What's a great night out for you?

Good company, something nice to eat, a few drinks and some live music. Pretty much the perfect evening.  

5. What's a great night in?

A little drink perhaps. Nice cozy up on the sofa with a decent film on the telly and a really nice cozy in bed just to finish the night.

6. If you were offered an all expenses paid trip anywhere in the world, where would you go?

It’s a tough call as there are quite a few places I would love to see. The Great Lakes and Northern Scandinavia would be high up the list. If I had to pick just one I would plump for Iceland. It just seems such an amazing place and who knows I might just run into Björk. 

7. What book do you wish everyone would read so you could talk about it?

It would be great if everyone was to read The Bridge by Iain Banks. Then maybe just maybe one of you might be able to tell me what the hell is going on. Other than that my wish would be simply that more people take the chance to read.

8. What movie makes you cry?

Oh dear, this question should have a subtitle of ‘guilty pleasures’; I am a sucker for a RomCom. Bits of Notting Hill have been known to have the old tear ducts in use. My god did I just admit to that? [Ed: yes, yes, you did o_O] ET had me in floods of tears as did the child catcher in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

9. What makes you laugh?

Ah, now we are talking. In no particular order as it would change pretty much on a daily basis. The genius of Peter Cook, Tony Hancock, Sid James, The Goons, The Goodies, Monty Python, Tommy Cooper, Eddie Izzard and Kenneth Williams. Oh and of course, Steptoe and Son.

10. Are there fairies at the bottom of your garden?

Not any more as I have invited them all into the house along with the little people.


Good plan :-) Thanks, sweetie.

Happy Halloween!

A gloriously spooky day to you all! I know I have been remiss in my Halloween cards for the last couple years; I have as an excuse the general madness of my life lately -- this year in particular. I suspect next year will either be incredibly dull and boring, or else more mad than ever.

I will not be taking bets on that. Let's not tempt fate, eh?

My sympathies for all my east coast friends who got a lot of snow dumped on them this weekend. I won't regale you with what a surprisingly warm day it was in Galway, how I walked out along the Claddagh and out the causeway to Mutton Island... oh, wait. I am doing that. Sorry! A freak October snowstorm. I'm sure it will be smooth sailing for the rest of the season...

All right, no more teasing. I remember well the painful jaws of the Great Grey Beast of February. Let this be the most snow you see until the thaws begin!


In lieu of an actual card, here's an old chestnut that I hope you're not tired of yet:

Devil's Night

It was called Devil's Night in the town where I lived
That veiled night before Halloween,
When goblins came out and devils ran wild
And some said that witches were seen.
We kids stayed inside, safe in our beds
And whispered of what there might be—
But one year we intended to see for ourselves,
My sister, my black cat and me.

The sun had long set and the darkness had come
To wrap all the houses in black,
When we crawled out the window and crept ‘cross the lawn
And none of us even looked back.
Though the wind tapped our shoulders and played with our hair
And ran through the leaves with mad glee,
We were stalwart and true like the heroes we knew,
My sister, my black cat and me.

We had never quite said, but each knew in our heads
The goal of our late night foray;
There was only one house whose black shutters and spires
Cast long inky shadows by day.
The house of nightmares was the subject of dares
For children much older than we,
But we knew we must try to sneak in and spy,
My sister, my black cat and me.

As we walked on our own down the mist-shrouded lane
The goblin cries rang through the night.
My sister told me, with an air of disdain,
That I should not take any fright.
'It's only some kids wrapped in sheets that they hid,
That they took from their mothers laundry.'
And we continued along with much knocking of knees
By my sister, my black cat and me.

The house loomed ahead with its turrets like spikes
Aimed at a portentous sky
The old shutters rattled and the chimney howled doom
But the wind smelled like pumpkin pie.
'An old witch lives here and she eats little kids,'
My sister heard from Katie Lee
And we were likely to die if we drew too near by
My sister, my black cat and me.

'I'll go up on the porch and ring her doorbell
then run—like the wind—quick away.
You go ‘round the back and give a sharp rat-a-tat,
Before she can come out this way.'
Her plans carefully laid, my sister then stayed
As I walked toward the back door slowly,
I'll admit I was scared and I felt ill- prepared,
No sister, just black cat and me.

As I prowled through the gloom I saw a bright room
And an old woman dressed all in black.
'It must be the witch,' I said to my cat
And shivered and shook in my tracks.
I wanted to run but I heard the doorbell
And I knew that my sister's safety
Was all in my hands, so we gathered our breaths,
Poor little black cat and me.

I made a small fist and raised up my arm
To deliver the thunderous tap
But I froze to the spot when I saw a dark shape
That opened the door with a snap.
'I know what you want!' I heard the witch say
But my feet would not move to flee
And she swept us inside the warm kitchen's light,
Poor little black cat and me.

My tears trickled down and I begged for my life
And the life of my little kitty.
The old witch just smiled and patted my head
And said to me, 'Don't be silly.
I've got oodles of pie and candy and fudge
And a gingerbread house so pretty,
And I wish you would share all the food I've prepared—
It's too much for my big cat and me!'

I looked all around and my fear dissipated
The kitchen was cheerful and clean
And the huge oaken table was filled ‘til it groaned
With more treats than I'd ever seen—
Pies of all kinds and cookies with chips
And a big steaming pot of green tea,
And in front of the fire a great big cat yawned
At my ravenous black cat and me.

I said, 'Thank you ma'am!' and plopped down in a chair
And she set a blue plate before me
And I piled it up high with some warm pumpkin pie
And a big taste of each sweet dainty.
I was feeding my face and telling the witch of our chase
When my sister's gaze fell upon me.
But it took little time before we brought her inside
To eat with my black cat and me.

So when you see a witch and your knees start to shake
And you're tempted to run to the hills,
Just remember the night that we wandered quite late
Seeking out Devil's Night thrills.
Some witches are good, and some witches are bad
But they all make amazing candy!
If you're sweet and not rude, they might share their food
With your sister, your black cat and thee.

Happy Halloween! Samhain maith! Wear iron and don't talk to pookahs. Let us remember those who have gone and whom we miss and share the bright memories with those near us now. Be well.

Happy New Year

From the wilds of Mississippi with Miss Wendy, a random video from the season (really, off the top of my head couldn't think of a New Year's song):



Oh, and I have a publication to start off the new year: "A Plea on Behalf of the Small Hat League."

Xmas Miscellany

Happy Christmas

I would have put "Happy Xmas (War is Over)" but you can't embed this version.

Or if you need something cheerier:




Or even --



But I have to add:

Happy Yule, Jane Quiet, Elena & Providence

The solstice is upon us and it pays to remember that the longest night also means it's time for the return of the light. Here's my perennial offering on Anglo-Saxon Yule that ended up online without my putting it there. At least they credited me as author.

I've got another piece up at Polite Company Magazine: a humorous account of a medieval saint.

Waking up at Elena's can be an interesting experience. I am glad not to have been in the room with the evil clown lately. Instead I get the knitted giraffe...

And of course, pin-up boy, Gunnar Hansen...

As well as the Spider-man bedding and if lucky, a puppy. Shaq certainly enjoyed the Spider-man comforter (or perhaps just the belly rubs). The three pups are a lot of fun and of course, as Elena always says, "I'm a mom!" so visitors are very well taken care of. It's nice. Thanks so much for all the food and fun!

Yesterday, once we could tear ourselves away from the pups, we headed off to Providence and the John Hay Library. We needed some visual references for Jane Quiet and to fill in some of her back story. I'm excited that Elena is ready to work on it again -- the story we have in mind is a knock-out! Here's Hay himself with a jaunty holiday bow. Seems that students rub him on the nose for good luck on exams, which makes it shiny. There was a terrific exhibit on Hispaniola in the gallery. We chatted with a librarian who was very helpful and gave me the card for the librarian who's the primary curator for the occult and magic collections -- a good resource. We'll be going back soon with specific volumes to look through (maybe that Danse Macabre bound in human skin!) Elena snapped some photos for reference. They had a copy of the Audubon book on display. Huge!

Next to the library is the little memorial for H. P. Lovecraft, a Providence legend and influential horror writer. I always refer to the "Lovecraft effect" in that city, which seems to mean it's impossible not to get lost. We had GPS and we still got lost (turns out there's two different Prospect Streets in Providence).

So we had a great Indian lunch and snooped around the bookstore (though a drama section that has neither Beckett nor Stoppard doesn't speak highly of their selection process). Re-energized by the trip and all the ideas we bounced around on the drive, we decided to work on storyboarding the new adventure we'd plotted out. So here's Elena sketching away while I was writing dialogue. She's a wonder -- I so admire her skill and how she can capture emotions. I'm so excited about this story -- all I can tell you is Egypt...

Home again to a crying cat, good things in the mail and a boatload of email to wade through. So little time, so much to do!

BitchBuzz and a Contest

Yes, up to my usual anti-social behavior in my column this week:

No Ho-Ho Holiday Films!

By K.A. Laity

When you've seen too many cheery reindeer, children singing and hearts growing three sizes, it's time to strike back.

I know there are many who can't wait to pull out that pile of Christmas DVDs every year and spend days laughing and crying with Charlie Brown and Lucy or Rudolph and Hermie or find out what Bedford Falls would have been like without George Bailey.

The rest of us need a break from all the sappy sentiment and I will warn you if you dare get out Love Actually it will come to fisticuffs. So if like me you spend the holidays dreading the next turn of that roulette wheel in the DVD player, here are some films you can suggest that meet the criteria of "holiday" themes but aren't the same old schmaltz...

 

Find out what I recommend here: http://culture.bitchbuzz.com/no-ho-ho-holiday-films.html#ixzz18IQLauVJ

 

I'm not really a Grinch: I just get overloaded on schmaltz like everyone, considering some places start playing Xmas music in October. My pal Karen has come up with a list of sf/fantasy recommendations for holiday films: check out her blog.

Contest: Yesterday on Facebook, Kit Marlowe gave away a copy of her novel The Mangrove Legacy. I've decided I'm going to give one away here for my birthday :-) Come back tomorrow and comment on the post to have a chance to win. I'll choose a winner at random from among the commenters. I do have the hope that some of these freebies will result in reviews, too [she adds with a hopeful look].

BitchBuzz: How to Ruin the Holidays + Mangrove Trailer

First, my column for the week: if you're mild-hearted and love the holidays, you may want to skip it. I am particularly proud of finding that picture of Katy Perry:

How to Ruin the Holidays

By K.A. Laity

Whether you celebrate Christmas, Diwali, Hanukkah, Solstice or Yule, you have an equal opportunity this year to destroy all hopes for any beautiful memories from social gatherings by following a few simple rules.

People get too stressed trying to make the holidays perfect: cooking, cleaning, buying, singing, organizing and spend, spend, spending. They put up trees, light menorahs, bake cookies, mull wine and in the process, gain weight, lose hair and empty their bank accounts.

Ruining the holidays can be accomplished with very little effort and almost no spending or preparation. You do not need to make elaborate plans (although a well-thought out scheme can have a spectacular pay-off) and cooking is completely optional, as are fuzzy jumpers with appliqués.

How can you ruin the holidays? To find the answers: http://life.bitchbuzz.com/how-to-ruin-the-holidays.html#ixzz17d1QLUsM

While book trailers have been said to be a waste of time, I can't seem to help wanting to make them. So to amuse myself, here's one for Kit Marlowe's The Mangrove Legacy coming Dec 15th (in case you forgot ;-)

Happy St. Nick's Day

Or did you get the Krampus instead? Well, my lovely Krampus chapbook designed by The joey Zone is out of print, but you can hear me read it as a podcast. I hope to scan it and get an electronic version available soon, but things are just so hectic (when is that not true?).

I had a lovely lovely time in Connecticut with all the crew. It was great fun that didn't last nearly long enough because I had to come home. Thanks so much to the Queen of Everything for being such a fabulous hostess, my birthday twin Marko and everybody who came. Thanks too to Elena for giving me lunch the next day and -- whoohoo -- knocking out an idea for a new Jane Quiet story! Fingers crossed she gets time to start drawing this week: an Egyptian theme -- how's that sound?

I got my author copy of the collection Exposure from Cinnamon Press that has my short story "Rothko Red" in it. Quite a lovely little volume. I also got notice that I have three items in the new issue of Femspec, reviews of King Kong Theory, Women in Science Fiction and Fantasy and Women and the Divine. Yes, it had been so long since they were submitted that I had completely forgotten about them. Guess I better remind myself to add them to the CV. This is why I need minions!

All right: back to grading. The end is near! I should have all my grading done and submitted before my birthday -- whoohoo!

Thankful

I'm thankful for many things like the wonderful words of Kurt Vonnegut and about a billion other things that make me laugh, sing, cry and sigh. Far too many to list, though today while I made my chocolate chip cheesecake, I watched this:





I'm always thankful for the Marx Brothers. My column today also features films as my suggested Thanksgiving meal.

6 Courses of Films Perfect for Thanksgiving Day

If you need to survive the holiday by distracting yourself from thoughts of murder, what better way to do so than by fixing your glassy stare on the nearest video screen? Here are six "courses" of films to help get you through Thanksgiving.

Appetizer: Home for the Holidays

Get yourself in the right mood with Jodi Foster's film about the horrors of family, which gives a bunch of great actors a chance to play eccentric and loopy.
It's also a very human film that suggests that time heals a lot of wounds....

Read more: http://culture.bitchbuzz.com/6-courses-of-films-perfect-for-thanksgiving-day.html#ixzz16Etbq5GP

Off to Bertie's for a fine fine meal; I'm bringing along a chocolate chip cheesecake for nourishment. I'm sure Robert will cook other things as well. I won't be cooking, although I might be drafted into peeling potatoes. My christmas cactus continues to beat the season:

Wombat Day

I did not start this particular celebration, but you know I'm willing to lend a hand for a good cause. So join the dance for Wombat Day. Wombat cake below made by the Wombies. How to celebrate: Eat chocolate, think marsupial thoughts, put something in a pouch. Smile. Hug a wombat.

Welcome, spring!

BitchBuzz: Hate Valentine's Day? Blame Chaucer!

My latest column for BitchBuzz dips into the medieval history of Valentine's Day celebrations. I know some people think they're a bit excessive, but even in the Middle Ages there were a lot of fairly ridiculous beliefs about the nature of love:

Hallmark and Cadbury might seem to have a lock on the holiday now, but Valentine's Day celebrations can be traced directly to Geoffrey Chaucer. While the feast day of the martyred Roman saint gives the occasion its name, Geoff was the guy with the bright idea to tie it to romance.

Saint Valentine himself was priest who may have married Christian couples at a time when Christianity was persecuted (or not – he shows up on a fifth century list of martyrs whose acts were known "only to God") but he got a slot on the liturgical calendar.

In "The Parliament of Fowls" Chaucer sets Valentine's Day as the day when the birds gather together to find their mates. He opens with a sigh, "The lyf so short, the craft so long to lerne" – that craft of course being the practice of Love. In his usual manner, Chaucer portrays himself as someone who knows of Love only from books, but in his dream he meets Venus and observes as Nature oversees the pairing off of the birds into nice heterosexual couples...

As always, you can read the rest over at BBHQ. I've been a bit quiet; trying to catch up form being sick. It's always a tad overwhelming to suddenly find your email inbox chock full of folks waiting for a response. One or two other dispiriting things this week reminding me just how petty people can be. That's life, right? Instead remember the good things: Peter Cook, loud punk music, pie, friends, John Donne's poetry.

Pity about Alexander McQueen -- how sad.

Ring Ring Goes the Bell

Classes begin tomorrow; as usual, I face that fact with a mixture of anticipation and dread. Just like the students, I prefer to be on holiday. Every new semester makes me wonder if I know what I'm doing.

Birthday boy Robert (Happy Birthday, again!) says the same thing he always says, "Make them stand on their desks and tear pages out of their books," because apparently Dead Poets Society is the only thing teaching means to him (yes, he does work at Bard).

As usual, I regret not making a better use of my time off. I figure there's got to be some way of getting around the whole need for sleep thing; I did find that drinking tea all day while I wrote did lead to not sleeping, but it was not a very productive not sleeping. Some sleep is required.

I have a course release for heading up Women's and Gender Studies; that "free time" will likely be eaten up by preparation for our conference in March. I'm teaching the Medieval Texts on Film class and also our brand new, never-before-taught Writing for New Media class. Another experiment; why do I do this to myself?

Yes, there's a new episode of The Mangrove Legacy: Alice learns the exciting history of the ghost, Miss Wychwood. Drop by and read for yourself. It's a fun Sunday ritual to dive back into the strangely Gothic adventures. I hope you continue to enjoy it (yes, Cranky -- looking in your direction).

Wish me luck -- we all need it on the first day of classes!

Philadelphia and NYC

I am off to Philadelphia today to make a flying visit to the always stressful conference for the Modern Language Association. Fortunately, this is probably the last time I'll have to go to the conference (at least for the foreseeable future) and I am neither interviewing candidates nor interviewing for jobs, so my personal stress level should be reasonably low (assuming all goes well with my travel plans -- one can never tell). I plan to see friends for dinner, then chair a panel and a brief meeting on Tuesday before I head back to NYC and then dinner with Robert. Wonder if I can squeeze in a visit to the Mutter?

I hope everyone had a nice holiday weekend; I actually got a good bit of writing done, which always cheers me. Nothing completed, but a couple of things well along the way. I also watched a number of movies on DVD as well as The Road which I saw with my pal Peg on Tuesday, but haven't had time to write up. I always have too much to do and too little time in which to do it.

Don't forget: there's a new episode up at The Mangrove Legacy, in which Alice chats with a very pleasant ghost. You may notice, too, that there is a new look to the serial which should make it much easier to read (or so the initial feedback suggests).

How many of you have time off this week? What do you plan to do with your leisure?

Hauskaa Joulua

Happy Solstice!

After the darkest night, the sun begins its return. It's the start of winter but the beginning of the return of the light. Enjoy the season, a good time for contemplation. I hope to do a little more of that -- not to mention writing -- now that I'm ready to turn in grades.

There's a new podcast up over at Radio Wombat, another Conceit, this one entitled "Words"; there's also a new episode of my comic Gothic serial The Mangrove Legacy up, too -- oooh, scary, kids! Ghosts!

For some seasonal reading, check out my evergreen repeat, Anglo-Saxon Yuletide which has appeared in print, electronically and occasionally as a performance.