Tuesday's Overlooked A/V: The Royle Family

I know some of you will immediately say, "Overlooked, my arse!" since it's on UK Gold regularly. But as the majority of my readers here are Americans, I feel justified in the choice -- besides, when do I pass by a chance to share this terrific show? The Royle Family was created by writer/director Caroline Aherne and her writing partner Craig Cash, who also starred in it as Denise Royle and her husband Dave Best. Jim, the patriarch of the Royles was played by Ricky Tomlinson and Sue Johnston starred as Barbara, his long-suffering wife. Her mother was played by the legendary Liz Smith and their very put-upon dogsbody/son Antony was Ralf Little. Regular cast members included Jessica (Spaced) Stevenson as the ever-dieting Cheryl and Geoffrey (Keeping Up Appearances) Hughes as the extremely dodgy Twiggy.

Nothing much ever happened at the Royles. Most episodes they sat talking to each other while watching television, hardly glancing at one other, the narratives mostly unfolding in real time with no laugh track. It may take a whole episode to get used to the family dynamics, but like all character-driven comedy, knowing those characters gives you incredible elasticity. While I always think of this as one of the consistently laugh-out-loud funny programmes ever, it also has some of the most touching moments ever televised as well: Denise's wedding day, when her waters break and of course, "The Queen of Sheba" Nana's passing.

It's my goal to be as phenomenally lazy as Denise. I've got a ways to go.

I got to introduce the QoE and Marko to a little bit of the Royles while they were visiting. The Xmas episode is a rare step outside Jim and Barbara's house to Denise and Dave's. Guest star Tom Courtenay (yes, really!) steals the show as Dave's bizarre dad. I love how he says, "Bar-berra" and of course the tropical punch and the whole turkey emergency. Some clips to give you a taste and as always, check out the rest of the recommended A/V over at Todd's blog.

Humo(u)r

A hasty post as I'm still entertaining my delightful guests, who seem to be having a good time. I know I am, though I'm also aware of my shortcomings as a hostess. I'm used to living on my own, never paying attention to clocks (except once a week :-) and not planning ahead. But there's plenty to enjoy in  Galway -- and no, not just the pubs!

I'm one of the writers featured in this month's BroadPod on the topic of humor (or humour -- I have to keep shifting back and forth between American and British/Irish spellings that every word begins to look slightly suspect and editors in various countries sigh at me). I read from The Mangrove Legacy, so you can get a taste of that if you haven't already (why haven't you?!).

On Tour with the QoE & Marko

Next week, I'll be back to regular posting, but for now, here's a nice picture of my guests. We'll see how many photos they let me post :-) probably better when they get over the jet lag. Yes, a picture at Spanish Arch is required of everyone who sets foot in Galway. Tick that box!

Know-vember: The Other Marko

Jeez, now we're doubling up on entries! Where were you folks at the beginning of the month? I know, I know, everyone's a last minute Charlie. I couldn't get Marko to do the question thing, but his evil twin Bizarro Marko AKA Pony Boy has given me his responses. He's one of the handful of people I still know from when I lived in Los Angeles -- or know again (thanks, social media). Let the madness begin!

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful!

1. What's the first thing you do upon waking in the morning?

Beautiful coffee...

2. What's a song you might be persuaded to dance to?

"Disintegration" by the Cure

3. Where in the world do you live?

Knoxville, TN in my own little world.

4. What's a great night out for you?

Good meal with friends, wine, dancing of all sorts - ballroom to freestyle.

5. What's a great night in?

Wine, fire and movie with my children.

6. If you were offered an all expenses paid trip anywhere in the world, where would you go?

So torn!  Italia?  Egypt?  Sao Paolo?  Hmmm, probably Ukraine from where my parents came.

7. What book do you wish everyone would read so you could talk about it?

Gods of Eden

8. What movie makes you cry?

Gladiator

9. What makes you laugh?

My children in laughter.

10. Are there fairies at the bottom of your garden?

Who told you about my fairies?  Of course there are and they drive the gnomes crazy with their practical jokes.  One time, these two fairies flew past...  Wait!  I've said too much.

Thank you, madman!

Voyage to Connecticut

 I met the fabulous Queen of Everything for breakfast at Cafémantic in Willimantic. Quite lovely -- never had been there before; it was delightful.

 Then we headed over to WECS to heckle Marko throughout the Punk Rock Jukebox -- I mean, to help promote the Salacious Art show that features some of the QoE's fine work (as is that poster). I got to give a shout out to my Mark up in Scotland, but I couldn't quite convince Marko to play all of Extricate (Extra Kate?). Then we headed off to the Willi Pub and had burgers and beer and more giggles.

 Next it was off to Elena's where the puppies were all happy to greet me, especially if I was eating something, eh Shaq?

 We had some wine and watched frighteningly bad films, The Godmonster of Indian Flats and a little bit of Swamp Girl (which had one amazing theme song O_o).

 On Saturday, Rod and Elena took me to Stew Leonard's, which they'd always talked about but I'd never been to. It's like Whole Foods, except it has all these wacky animatronic displays. Quite an experience. Must work it into a story.

Elena and I hashed out some of the next stage of Jane Quiet, our comic, while -- as I noticed much later -- mosquitoes made a meal of my feet. I headed back to Albany in time to run into the fierce rain, which of course let up once I arrived. Had a nice dinner with Debi (congratulations on finishing that first draft of your novel!) and then it was back to facing the huge pile of things that must be done. Sigh.

Connecticut Adventures + Publication

Well, I ran off on Friday early enough to get to the Punk Rock Jukebox and have a good time aggravating Marko during his show, including decorating him and annotating the walls. Mostly I just giggled in the background while he was trying to talk. Then we ran off to the pub to have some lunch and yak. Marko terrified me with an introduction to the amazing phenomenon of the Shake Weight (O_o). Guess it's a good thing I don't watch much TV.

I had a lovely dinner with Sue Crowley and her husband in their home which I managed to find despite the Connecticut habit of not putting street signs at corners. When I first moved to the state it was one of the first things to get used to -- that and getting directions using landmarks that no longer exist: "Turn right where the old Beaumont farm's barn was before it burned down..." Ah, New England. A world unto itself.

Then it was off to Elena's. She and Rod were busy meeting with Desmond Tutu (yes, really!) so I let myself in and greeted the happy puppies. We all went outside and sat on the back porch for a bit until they got home. In the morning I was a visitor at Elena's cartooning class. She does an amazing job with these young kids.

She has an early class with young kids, but I came for the later class (pre-teens) and I told them the story of "Another Metamorphosis," my swipe of Kafka plus dinosaurs and with more than a little silliness. Now I should be clear: I am not a storyteller, I am a storywriter. I was a bit nervous about trying to tell the story, but I interpolated parts and cut others and it seemed to go okay. I figured dinosaurs at least would be appealing to the audience.

It seemed to do the trick; boy, they sure worked hard on the drawings! It was cool to see how much they were captivated by the ideas, although each on different aspects. There were a couple who really wanted to focus on the car accident, others who wanted to show the transformation and others who wanted to draw the theme park. All of the illustrations were wildly different.

Elena scanned in all the pictures and I've added them to the story and uploaded it to Scribd. I love the internet! Idea to execution in no time. I didn't so much love inserting the pictures and captions in Word. Can anyone explain why each caption came up in a different format?! Some had boxes around the words, some didn't -- one even had a partial box. WHY?! I don't know. Very irritating -- and that's exactly the kind of thing that drives me mad. Maybe I should have been a model instead...

I spent the afternoon with the fabulous Queen of Everything plotting and planning, as well as getting a sneak peak at the Jezebel lounge. Then it was back to Elena's for some more relaxing. A great weekend. I miss all my CT friends and all the peculiarities of the Quiet Corner.

Publishing News & Connecticut Bound

Over at Night and Day, The Spectator's Arts blog, I have an introduction to erotic fiction that will give you some  steamy reading for this rainy day. Simon always gives me such interesting assignments; I find it amusing that the newspaper is so conservative and its Arts blog so liberal. Of necessity, this is only a taste of the genre. As I write in the preamble,

A beginner’s guide to erotic fiction cannot help but be incomplete. One cannot do justice to such a broad body of literature, so I have selected a bouquet of offerings that will provide novices with a sampling of the breadth of the field, from which they can explore further...

I've neglected to mention also having a story accepted for publication, "The Wyandotte Haunting" which includes...

ghostly chickens?

Could it be true? Yes, perhaps. That's a couple of Wyandottes in the photo, whom I snapped at the Altamont Fair last year, or was it the year before? There's a little nod to one of my inspirations, Ramsey Campbell. More info as it becomes available: a collection from Pill Hill Press (home of my zombie Western "High Plains Lazarus" too). The essay on Gilliam's Tideland has finally settled into place (ay yi yi, there's a story), but the main thing I'm hastily working on at present is The Triumph of the Carpet Beetle, my non-fiction collection. More as that gets closer to release (soon, soon -- we all know how pleased I am with tedious and painstaking tasks 9_9).

I'm off to Connecticut today, lunch with M. Marko, dinner with Sue Crowley, then evening at Elena's (assuming they get safely home from their travels). In the morning Elena's cartooning class, then a visit with the QoE before returning to Elena's. I wanted to be sure to have a chance to see everyone before I headed off to England. Life is a bit of a whirlwind lately (only lately?!). So little time, so much to do!

Euro Punks Exhibit

Wednesday already?! Eek! Madness -- this entire week has been, will be, is. Yesterday after the Glass Ceiling talk organized by the Women's Initiative, I jumped in the car and headed down to Kingston for a reading of a new play at the Arts Society of Kingston. The play was on the life of Margaret Fuller and has a lot of potential: the audience offered a lot of good feedback. I hope I'll get a lot of the same on my play.

Two panic moments after the play: first, being horrified to find that my car was missing, afraid it had been towed. No, I had simply walked two blocks past where it was. Can we say distracted? Driving to Bertie's for dinner I had an owl fly right over my hood on the backroads, which initially made me gasp in alarm and then think, "wow, how cool was that?" Great dinner (of course) and then back home again (after midnight).

Finishing the slides for the talk; tomorrow is polishing both. Out with friends Thursday night, on my way to Iowa Friday. Phew! And then next week is PCA. I can relax for a day on the 25th. >_< At last, here's the photos from the Euro Punks Exhibit at the Villa Medici in Rome. A lot of them are awful, but I was snapping away hastily, having fun. At least you get a flavour of the exhibit. If you want to see better pictures, take a look at the catalogue. I know a certain punk rock DJ who might let you take a look at his copy...

Happy St. Nick's Day

Or did you get the Krampus instead? Well, my lovely Krampus chapbook designed by The joey Zone is out of print, but you can hear me read it as a podcast. I hope to scan it and get an electronic version available soon, but things are just so hectic (when is that not true?).

I had a lovely lovely time in Connecticut with all the crew. It was great fun that didn't last nearly long enough because I had to come home. Thanks so much to the Queen of Everything for being such a fabulous hostess, my birthday twin Marko and everybody who came. Thanks too to Elena for giving me lunch the next day and -- whoohoo -- knocking out an idea for a new Jane Quiet story! Fingers crossed she gets time to start drawing this week: an Egyptian theme -- how's that sound?

I got my author copy of the collection Exposure from Cinnamon Press that has my short story "Rothko Red" in it. Quite a lovely little volume. I also got notice that I have three items in the new issue of Femspec, reviews of King Kong Theory, Women in Science Fiction and Fantasy and Women and the Divine. Yes, it had been so long since they were submitted that I had completely forgotten about them. Guess I better remind myself to add them to the CV. This is why I need minions!

All right: back to grading. The end is near! I should have all my grading done and submitted before my birthday -- whoohoo!

Friday's Forgotten Books: Renegade

"I don't really write from a solid idea. It's never that certain at the start. You get to what you're saying through the writing, the process; and then you move on." ~ Mark E. Smith

    

My entry may not really be 'forgotten' so much as completely unfamiliar to many. I bought a copy in one of the bookstores on the Southbank last year, which was near the start of my growing obsession with The Fall. I'd only seen them live once, but I've been obsessed ever since. A big part of that is irascible frontman Mark E. Smith who has keep the band going through various personnel changes since the heyday of punks. Their most recent release, Your Future, Our Clutter, proves they are still amazing all these years later.

Smith's narrative ranges freely over the many years of his career, projects as diverse as the ballet performed at the Edinburgh Fringe to accompany I am Kurious Oranj and the play he wrote about the rumored stories behind the sudden death of the first Pope John Paul, Hey, Luciani -- not to mention a lot of great music in between, as well as fights, marriages, sackings and a lot more. I can think of no better way to tell you what this book is like than to let the man speak for himself.

  When I was five I used to go and sit with my next-door neighbour, Stan the pigeon guy, in his back garden. He was a Teddy Boy, and in those days, before everyone had phones, the Teds used to send pigeons off to their girlfriends in Blackpool or wherever, with little messages attached.
  Sometimes he'd have three pigeons, each with a girl's name on it. I'd say to him, 'Why you doing that, Stan?'
  'So at least one of them will get through.' (11)

  That's why I've never aligned myself to the whole punk thing. To me, punk is and was a quick statement. That's why most of the main players couldn't handle the fall-out of it all, they were like a bunch of shell-shocked army majors stuck in time, endlessly repeating their once-successful war cries. Nothing wrong with that, I suppose, but I wanted something with a bit more longevity. (42)

  I used to do tarot readings as well. I went through a phase of reading books on the occult. I was fascinated by it. I still believe that things leave vibrations. America, for instance; I've visited all these Civil War sites and the atmosphere is incredible. You can almost reach out and feel it. (67)

  Women are more in tune with rhythms than men. It's very hard being in an all-male group. They don't get anything I say to them. The tunes in my head don't go past three chords. But men can't get it. There's something in their brain that's out of touch with this idea. I feel alienated from men musically, whereas women can transform my ideas into reality a lot more accurately. (129)

  I've always tried to dress smart. It's important... (130)

  [On Orson Welles] He was in another zone. Telling stories on stories until in the end he himself is a story. He didn't seem afraid of living in that world; and it's childish in a way, but when you can deal with it and use it, the results are evident.  I think it's like heightened awareness, similar to when you don't eat for a few days, or you've been on a bit of a bender -- you see things differently. And not always in an obvious way. (235)  

See the other Forgotten Friday Books rounded up at Patti Abbott's blog and of course, Todd (who persuaded me to take part again with some guilt-provoking) always does an FFB.

Moping and Missing Friends

The nor'easter puts the kibosh on plans for the party at Elena's. I was so looking forward to seeing everybody tonight! I am now going to sulk and watch sad movies... once I finish grading. Bleh.

Halloween, Poe & Pals

I was going to entitle this "John Crowley Owes Me $5" but I only just met him this week and I'm not sure I can feel comfortable joshing about money with him; of course it does make for a funny story. My adventures for the weekend started with the kick off of the Poe Conference at UMass Amherst on Thursday night. My pal, the fabulous Liz Hand, was the primary draw, but as I ended up sitting next to Crowley at dinner, I had a chance to get to know him a bit more.

The $5 came about because we were all supposed to go out to dinner after the reading, courtesy of UMass and coordinator Chris Couch. I was driving Liz and Tristan, her son, but we didn't know where the restaurant was, so we were supposed to follow Crowley and his daughter Zoe who was a student there. However, they couldn't get out of the garage because he had no cash! So I gave him a fin and we were off. Good food was on offer and assessing the situation, Crowley ran out to get some wine ($5 investment paid in FULL!); since we had about a dozen folks there, Liz followed suit, so we had a good amount of beverage for the fine dinner (some yummy goat as well as rice and beans and plantains). Crowley and I ended up talking about all kinds of things like why he couldn't see the appeal of vampires (rotting corpses! think of the smell!), medieval revenants and even my film class about portrayals of writers, for which he had an additional suggestion I'd never heard of: "Youngblood Hawke" written by Herman Wouk and filmed in 1964.

Liz tried to convince me to stay in Amherst that night, but I'd brought no clothes or even a toothbrush ("You can use mine," she offered -- isn't she a sweetie?) but when dinner broke up around 11pm, I headed home. Too wired when I got home to go to sleep, I ended up pottering around until after 3am, so no way I was going back to Amherst in the morning. Sorry, Faye! I missed your panel, but heard about it afterward (and that it was enjoyed). Friday night I celebrated Samhaim with my pals and stuffed myself silly! Thought I might never eat again.

Sat dawned with an early rising to get to Amherst in time to see some of the presenters before my panel. My reading went well: I had fun talking about Poe's influence and then reading from "Palakainen" which seemed to go over well, too. Lunch offered an opportunity for chatting with folks, then Craig Shaw Gardner gave the keynote speech which -- of course! -- turned into a game show.

Then I jumped back in the car to head down to Willimantic and Miss Wendy's, where we had some tasty brisket, then prepped and headed down to New London to celebrate the day with the Queen and Johnny 10X, Marko and the Boojums (Cheryl is responsible for the photo above) at the Hygenic Park. I was dressed as Mater Tenebrarum (in case you can't tell) and we all had a lot of fun until it rained.

Some folks followed the bands to the Oasis (Marko told us later that we missed blood, 80 degree heat and a fight), some to the Bank Street (Flesh Hammer and D.O.T. were playing) and me, Miss Wendy, the Queen and Johnny 10X went to the Dutch, where we were fortunate to get a table from some friendly Phillies fans. I'm sure it looked odd enough to have Mater Tenebrarum, a Raven and the Scarecrow come in and sit down, but we got a chuckle when Batman came in and bellied up to the bar, sipping a cold one while he watched the game. We got home late and Miss Wendy and I sat up for a bit watching Halloweeny fare.

Even better, we had that extra hour from daylight savings and Miss Wendy made me breakfast -- eggs, bacon and bagels, yum! Why is breakfast always such a treat? I dunno, but it was delicious. Better yet, "I'm All Right, Jack" was playing on TCM so I had a lot of laughs with breakfast, too. Eventually I had to head home; it's such an easy drive with music playing and plenty of convenient places to stop if need be. Best thing today was being in the ladies room at one rest area and listening to a little girl sing "Lollipop" with her mom making the "pop" sound.

Home again to a happy Kipper, but no hot water! Maybe it's fixed now. Too busy catching up on things to check. Hope you all had fun this weekend!

Connecticut Jaunt

Despite the tight schedule I have this month, I decided to take the opportunity to run down to Connecticut and see my pals before I take off for Britain for a month on June 1. I headed out with the sun shining and the windows down while I blasted music through the lovely Berkshires. First stop was the Punk Rock Jukebox, where I proceeded to annoy Marko while he was trying to do his show. The Queen showed up to help me -- we achieved a new record time for raising the pulsating vein on his temple! Thanks for the Death CD, Marko!

Afterward we ran off to the pub to try Marko's new drink suggestion, the Green Tea Breeze. Very tasty! We were joined by Johnny 10X after he got off work, and then it was time to head over to Miss Wendy's where I was going to be staying. I refueled with some Earl Grey and then we headed to the Aloha Alcohula* where we proceeded to have Stoli-Bollis, a very dangerous thing to do. Not least of which because it led to a sudden decision to lacquer every one's nails with black polish (N.B. Friday had been intended to be a girls night, but the boys crashed it), so Marko and I ran to the store (me without shoes, so I had to stay in the car anyway) to get the polish. He got the once-over from the check-out guy, but he was undeterred in his mission: brave man.

So we painted fingers and toes and giggled like a bunch of teenagers. It was fun. Yes, that's my feet and hands above. Polish since removed.

After such lethal cocktails Wendy and I knew it would be wise to take a cab home, which is when we discovered that this was a seemingly impossible thing to do in Willimantic. Really? Really?! So, thank you Ken for coming to the rescue.

Saturday we woke up bleary eyed and settled for watching a very bad SciFi channel film (is there any other kind?) Kaw, about ravens on the rampage (yes, really -- it had Mennonites, too!), then headed out to Elena's to meet her new puppy Maya -- and play with the other pups, Shaq and Bodie. Eventually we wandered into West Hartford Center and after several misfires (everything was closed for good or for lunch or for renovation) had some lunch, then went over to the Cheesecake Factory to have dessert, but the wait was too long, so we went to the B&N instead, which oddly enough had Cheesecake Factory cheesecake in their café, so all was well.

Wendy and I relaxed Saturday night with the Three and Four Musketeers (Ollie, Ollie!). Sunday was breakfast at Nita's with the Boojums, where we got to hear about The joey Zone's birthday jaunt to Worcester and natter on about this and that. Then it was back to Miss Wendy's, where she had time to introduce me to a new anime series, Mushi-shi, before I headed back out on the road to NY.

A good trip! Thanks, everybody, for a great time!

*Best damn tiki bar in Connecticut!

Jaws of Suspiria

I already wrote a bit about Jaws and my long connection to it, but I don't think I've yet got around to the student reactions. It's hard to keep track of things in the midst of the mad swirl of the summer intensive. I've made things even tighter by planning to run down to Connecticut this weekend to see folks before I go off to the UK June 1. The quick Connecticut dash is meant to include a quick hello to Marko at the Punk Rock Jukebox, girlie night with Miss Wendy and the Queen of Everything, Saturday lunch or something with Miss Wendy and Elena, then Sunday brunch with the Boojums.

It will be more relaxing than it sounds.

Okay, Jaws: the students were not accustomed to thinking of this as a horror film, since most of them saw it as kids. The music has become so iconic, it's hard to imagine hearing it the first time or the impact it had (all kinds of impacts). The two halves of the movie complement each other so well, yet are completely different: we go from the crowded beaches of Amity to the endless ocean, from a whole town of people to just the three men and yet you don't feel that transition as a jarring change. It's a well-constructed film. Good thing they had so much trouble with Bruce the shark and had to keep him out sight for longer than they planned. It works.

Suspiria, on the other hand, is a spectacle but a far less coherent narrative on the whole. I expected to have a bit of trouble getting the students to appreciate it, so I was pleasantly surprised to have spontaneous expressions of appreciation for it. It's a Technicolor feast, it's an expressionist blood bath, where the glory of the gory explodes all over the screen -- often at the cost of logic or reason (not to mention the often utilitarian dialogue) and of course, the true crime of dubbing Udo's voice with some bland American's. Nonetheless, the students appreciated it. I think they're getting to be real connoisseurs, which is very cool.

Today it's body/queer horror with Clive Barker and a little bit o' Cronenberg.