Know-vember: Your Humble Narrator

I want to thank all the wonderful friends who took part in Know-vember. It was a delight to share. I think I may well make this an annual event. Yes, as promised, I will now turn the tables on myself. Don't you already know too much about me? You must be part of the Cult of Kaity or you wouldn't be coming by here, surely, so you must have heard me blather on and on for the--what?!--six years I have been blogging here. From Texas to New York to Galway. Where will I be next? What will I be doing? If I knew, would I tell you? Probably, but first I'd have to know. Wow, didn't the fabulous Queen of Everything make me look good here? This is one of the pictures that hung in her first gallery show. I am art!

1. What's the first thing you do upon waking in the morning?

I pick up my phone to see if I have any messages from my sweetie and then I check Twitter (and then Facebook and email and...) and then I finally get out of bed and make some tea (black with one sweetner. If there is no sweetener, I do not add sugar because I do not like sugar: never milk!). 

2. What's a song you might be persuaded to dance to?

I will dance to nearly anything with a beat and a few things that have none. Anything from Vic Reeves' fantastic version of "Dizzy" to Fred Astaire's version of "Cheek to Cheek" -- particular faves include Tori's "Raspberry Swirl" and Dee-Lite's "Groove is in the Heart." 

3. Where in the world do you live?

I live in lovely Galway and every day I stop to think how lucky I am to be here. Life is good and there are magpies outside my window on Eyre Square. I walk down by the bay and am filled with wonder to be in this wonderful world.

4. What's a great night out for you?

I am happiest with a good meal, some tasty drinks, maybe a little dancing or a concert with great music: essential -- good friends with lots of laughs (friends who make me laugh are the best gift of all). That said, an evening down the pub with my friends is aces.

5. What's a great night in?

A good movie and a cuddle in front of the fire with my sweetie. A real fire would be best, but at present I have a fake coal fire and he has no fireplace at all, so we have to make our own sparks. 

6. If you were offered an all expenses paid trip anywhere in the world,where would you go?

Around the world I would go, for sure for sure. I have always wanted to go to Egypt and India, but as long as I were going there I'd want to go to New Zealand too and then why not Japan and China and then Russia and back through Scandinavia and to Finland again and Iceland too -- on and on. Macchu Picchu! Rio! Everywhere.

7. What book do you wish everyone would read so you could talk about it?

I would say Alice in Wonderland which people tend to know from movies rather than the real book and it is one of those lynchpins of my life, but I'd also want to get people to read Beowulf (in the original!) so I could just recite lines from it at random and be understood (well, I already recite lines at random, but people tend to stare at me). I should be smart and say one of my books...

8. What movie makes you cry?

Lots of movies make me cry! I'm a sap. Guaranteed tear-jerkers include Auntie Mame, Now Voyager, The Women, Dark Victory, An Affair to Remember, Persuasion, Sense and Sensibility -- oh, the list goes on and on!

9. What makes you laugh?

Peter Cook, Peter Cook, Peter Cook! HAHAHA -- unexpected that, right? And Tony Hancock, the Goons, Pythons, Goodies, AbFab, Black Books, The Mighty Boosh, Blackadder, and all my witty friends.

10. Are there fairies at the bottom of your garden?

I am the fairy at the bottom of the garden but I moved inside because my toes were cold.

Thank you all for a fantastic month of sharing.

Know-vember: Bertie

It's the man who needs no introduction, but did insist on his own special font. Here is he at Eton; nothing but the best for Bertie.

1. What's the first thing you do upon waking in the morning?

say oy

2. What's a song you might be persuaded to dance to?

Anything by the sensational Irish duo Jedward! [Ed: groan!]

3. Where in the world do you live?

just a bit north of manhattan....a bit. quite a bit.

4. What's a great night out for you?

drinks with the guys at Harry's Bar in Paris, sank roo doe noo. (celebrating 100 years, this Thanksgiving!)

5. What's a great night in?

chewing on marrow bones with Connor, maybe with a little 1990 Chateau Margaux

6. If you were offered an all expenses paid trip anywhere in the world, where would you go?

a Thomas Cook agent, to purchase all the tickets and accommodations to all the places i want to go to. i think st. helena would be the first stop.

7. What book do you wish everyone would read so you could talk about it?

why, Pelzmantel of course!

8. What movie makes you cry?

Dr. Zhivago

9. What makes you laugh?

tragedy + time

10. Are there fairies at the bottom of your garden?

no. Connor took care of them.

Merci, mon frère!

Know-vember: Frances McCormack

Okay, what're the odds? Oh sure, it is entirely likely that I would get on with the first medievalist I met at NUI Galway. After all, we medievalists have to stick together like all endangered species. But we keep finding amazing things in common like our birthdays (!) and P. G. Wodehouse and the Marx Bros and Tony Hancock. Destiny took a hand in things, I think, when it sent me to Galway. She even invited me to talk to her Old English course so I wouldn't forget entirely what the inside of a classroom looked like. Here's the lovely Frances, award winning lecturer.

1. What's the first thing you do upon waking in the morning?

Let the cats in for a cuddle and go back to sleep, even if only for two minutes. I'm not a fan of sleeping late, but I do like to wake up slowly.

2. What's a song you might be persuaded to dance to?

I'm a trained dancer, but the best songs are those that make me dance like I don't know how! "Come on Eileen," by Dexy's Midnight Runners, has made me jump up and down on ever since I was a bairn in 1982. I remember the first time I heard it: I jumped around the breakfast table with such enthusiasm and abandon that my mum cried with laughter. "Late in the Evening" by Paul Simon makes me do what my husband calls "Muppet Dancing", and it works best when I'm in the passenger seat of the car (although God knows what the people looking in their rear-view mirrors at me are thinking)!

3. Where in the world do you live?

In books. I much prefer stories to real life!

4. What's a great night out for you?

I don't tend to go out. I much prefer 'in'.

5. What's a great night in?

Learning languages, or doing something craftsy. I like to be busy!

6. If you were offered an all expenses paid trip anywhere in the world,where would you go?

Japan, Japan, Japan...or New York! But unfortunately, as I don't really like 'out', traveling is not the easiest thing for me to do!

7. What book do you wish everyone would read so you could talk about it?

The one with the boy with the orange pyjamas...but I can't remember what book it was. I vaguely remember reading it in bed--there was a boy who may have been an orphan; someone (it may have been a man) took him in, and a woman (whose name may have begun with a J) brought him pyjamas in which to sleep. The pyjamas either had oranges on them or orange buttons, and the boy had an aversion to the colour orange, so he slept in his clothes and then crinkled the pyjamas the next morning to make it look like they'd been slept in. I can't remember whether I actually read this book or DREAMT that I had read this book so if it sounds familiar to you, let me know what on earth it is!

8. What movie makes you cry?

I don't cry at movies...but Graham Greene's books always have me in tears!

9. What makes you laugh?

At the moment, Diary of a Wimpy Kid. But everything in general...I'm a giggler! [Ed: I can attest to this.] Ooh yes, and games where you substitute the word 'goose' for either a noun or a verb in a film title. That one makes me chuckle too!

10. Are there fairies at the bottom of your garden?

Yes! There's actually a special fairy garden in my garden, where the dead trees are and the primrose grows. I don't like to visit it very often, because it's also where the septic tank lives, but the fairies don't seem to mind.

Thank you, Frances, a delight!

Know-vember: The Other Marko

Jeez, now we're doubling up on entries! Where were you folks at the beginning of the month? I know, I know, everyone's a last minute Charlie. I couldn't get Marko to do the question thing, but his evil twin Bizarro Marko AKA Pony Boy has given me his responses. He's one of the handful of people I still know from when I lived in Los Angeles -- or know again (thanks, social media). Let the madness begin!

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful!

1. What's the first thing you do upon waking in the morning?

Beautiful coffee...

2. What's a song you might be persuaded to dance to?

"Disintegration" by the Cure

3. Where in the world do you live?

Knoxville, TN in my own little world.

4. What's a great night out for you?

Good meal with friends, wine, dancing of all sorts - ballroom to freestyle.

5. What's a great night in?

Wine, fire and movie with my children.

6. If you were offered an all expenses paid trip anywhere in the world, where would you go?

So torn!  Italia?  Egypt?  Sao Paolo?  Hmmm, probably Ukraine from where my parents came.

7. What book do you wish everyone would read so you could talk about it?

Gods of Eden

8. What movie makes you cry?

Gladiator

9. What makes you laugh?

My children in laughter.

10. Are there fairies at the bottom of your garden?

Who told you about my fairies?  Of course there are and they drive the gnomes crazy with their practical jokes.  One time, these two fairies flew past...  Wait!  I've said too much.

Thank you, madman!

Know-vember: Peg Aloi

My movie buddy! Peg and I have seen a lot of movies together, good and bad -- and have often argued about which was which (hee)! Peg is also a writer and academic as well as an amazing cook and baker (mmmm, deliciousness). I haven't gone to the movies yet in Galway, surprisingly. The good theatre is a bus ride away (I may eventually rent a bike), but I think part of it is not having someone to go to movies with in the middle of the afternoon (AKA the best time). Miss you, Peg! Hope you can make it over here :-)

1. What's the first thing you do upon waking in the morning?

Nudge the dog to get off the bed.

2. What's a song you might be persuaded to dance to?

Was enjoying "Get Down Tonight" by KC and Sunshine Band at the dentist's office today...but I like to dance and to all kinds of music, generally.

3. Where in the world do you live?

Albany, New York.

4. What's a great night out for you?

Great food and drinks with friends, a film premiere, a super hot play ticket in London or New York, a walk along a sparkling city street, sitting in chairs beneath a starry sky in the country, a bonfire, I am easy.

5. What's a great night in?

Steak and a TV marathon of The Tudors...or having friends over for food and drinks.

6. If you were offered an all expenses paid trip anywhere in the world, where would you go?

Good question...probably Paris.

7. What book do you wish everyone would read so you could talk about it?

The Children's Book by A. S. Byatt, or Harvest Home by Thomas Tryon.

8. What movie makes you cry?

The ones where sad things happen. [Ed: hahahahahaha]

9. What makes you laugh?

The Colbert Report, at the moment.

10. Are there fairies at the bottom of your garden?

I should hope so.

Know-vember: Dana Gravesen

The days are just packed, to steal a phrase from Calvin and Hobbes! No sooner does Dana compliment me on the fun to be had in Know-vember than I strong-arm him into answering my devious questions. And now they're up -- BAM. Serves him right! I first knew Dana as a snot-nosed thirteen-year-old on the Horror in Film and Literature List. He's now a doctoral student. How awesome is that? Damn. From New York City to Iowa no less, but he's one of those folks who bloom wherever they're planted. Well done, you! We need to drink more martinis together, young man.

1. What's the first thing you do upon waking in the morning?

Nicely ask Alley (my cat) to stop chewing on my hair. [Ed: Kipper chews my hair too! I miss him :-( waah!] Then I hit the snooze button 10 times. Then panic about what day it is and what needs to be done. Then I hit the snooze button 5 times. Then I put coffee on to percolate while I smoke 2 cigarettes outside.

2. What's a song you might be persuaded to dance to?

There are so very many. But dancing for me usually requires a bit of “lubrication.” The excellent thing is that I can dance to Slayer and Rihanna on the same evening at the local gay bar. “Rude Boy” is my favorite.

3. Where in the world do you live?

Iowa City, Iowa USA. It's a town dominated by the University of Iowa, but it has a few charming elements like good restaurants, the Pioneer Food Co-op, and shirtless jock neighbors who like to leave their blinds open 24/7.

4. What's a great night out for you?

A couple of good friends at a restaurant or tavern. I'm more of a stay-at-home kind of gal and usually get irritable or quickly exhausted with late nights out.

5. What's a great night in?

Alley on my lap, the couch, boxed wine, and Roseanne.

6. If you were offered an all expenses paid trip anywhere in the world, where would you go?
 
Hong Kong. I'm a huge fan of Hong Kong cinema and I absolutely love exploring super-metropolises. Plus I have a lot of friends who grew up in Hong Kong and could show me the ropes. My second and third choices would be Copenhagen (I'm part Danish) or to return to Belize.

7. What book do you wish everyone would read so you could talk about it?

Any of Maupin's first six in the Tales of the City series. [Ed: Love those! In my novel Owl Stretching, the dead cat is named Mr Tolliver]

8. What movie makes you cry?

A couple of years ago my answer to this would be the following Simpsons quote: “This is where the tears would be if I could cry! But I can't. Botched facelift.” I never used to cry at films. But the first film to ever make me cry was The Bridges of Madison County. I threw the book across the room but thoroughly enjoy the film (Go Iowa!). Truth be told, the first movie to ever make me cry was Bird on a Wire with Mel Gibson and Goldie Hawn. I was 8 years-old when it was released and I forced my mother to take me to the lobby during the final “zoo” sequence because I didn't want to see any animals get hurt.

9. What makes you laugh?

Witty friends and drag queens.

10. Are there fairies at the bottom of your garden?

No, but there are often fairies smoking with me on my stoop.

Thank you, you're beautiful!

Know-vember: Alessandra

The lovely poet of Rome, monarch of Pandemonium, translator extraordinaire and jester full of sprezzatura -- yes, it's La Bava! How she brightens my days simply by being her extraordinary self. She was my hostess in Rome who took me to all the dazzling sights and fed me the very finest food, most of it at her own table along with her handsome son, the knight Edoardo, and the delightful royal taster, Ghibli the Dalmatian. You must see some of her fabulous poetry and why not check out her devoted partner John, who took this lovely photo of Ale during their holiday in Umbria, Lazio & Tuscany.

1. What's the first thing you do upon waking in the morning?

I curse the alarm clock since it’s usually 5.30 am, then I shower, I get dressed and at that point I am in dire need of coffee. Not to mention the fact that there is a hairy mister wagging its tail demanding to be fed!

2. What's a song you might be persuaded to dance to?

No song in particular, rather the disco dance of the Seventies.

3. Where in the world do you live?

In the most charming spot of the planet. A place also known as the Eternal City.

4. What's a great night out for you?

A happy hour or dinner out somewhere in the center with the people I love and/or with friends.

5. What's a great night in?

Excellent food and wine, a movie and fireworks in the pink room.

6. If you were offered an all expenses paid trip anywhere in the world, where would you go?

I would head to St. Petersburg, Moscow and the Article Circle to experience the Aurora Borealis. Japan and Patagonia would be next on my wish list.

7. What book do you wish everyone would read so you could talk about it?

Any of Dostoevsky’s works. It’s one of the authors whose entire works I have read and re-read over the last 30 years.

8. What movie makes you cry?

Many do. Bright Star, to name one. But, Million Dollar Baby is the movie that really had me cry my heart out.

9. What makes you laugh?

Witticism of any kind and my dalmatian -- he is a comedian in disguise. By the way, John and I laugh ALL the time! [Ed: I am unsurprised ;-)]

10. Are there fairies at the bottom of your garden?

Of course! But, the malicious house kobold is the sprite I am more fond of. 

Thank you, my dear!

Know-vember: Chloë

What is more awesome than awesome? It has to be the lovely Chloë! She sent me absinthe chocolates. That would already make her more awesome than awesome, but she's also hilarious and has adorable Maudie to help with the awesomeness, too. We finally got to meet in Derby this year at Alt.Fiction after having lots of laughs on line. Not surprisingly, we had lots of laughs in person too. How awesome is that? Very awesome! Like Chloë. Here she is with a ladybird hat & Mr Y.

1. What's the first thing you do upon waking in the morning?

Think "oh fuck, not this again" and then get a kick in the head from Maud the dog who objects to me being compos mentis as it generally involves me moving and disturbing her.

2. What's a song you might be persuaded to dance to?

I could probably be persuaded to dance to anything because I’m easily led, let's get that clear early on – and I’m especially easy once I've had a few, ahem, blackcurrant cordials. I have a fond memory of dancing in a student night club to "I Touch Myself" by the Divinyls and putting the fear of god into the tiny student girls and boys (I was a “mature” student) with my earthy hip movements … Nowt better than scaring the children.

3. Where in the world do you live?

Fribourg, Switzerland. It’s the city that all the other Swiss cities look down on. And they shouldn’t because Fribourg is shiny. As long as you don’t mind life at a molasses slow pace and occasionally being bored titless.

4. What's a great night out for you?

Unexpected nights out - ones that are organised last minute or when you think to yourself, "This is going to be average, so I'll just have a couple and then get an early night" only to wind up crawling home, full of Jägermeister or some other deadly concoction at three in the morning. Which makes me sound like a lush ... okay, I confess. In truth, the best nights are the ones where you can relax and talk to the people around you and not feel awkward. That’s all I really ask.  

5. What's a great night in?

Me, Mr Y and a paddle. Not that kind of paddle either. Ain’t no creeks round here.

6. If you were offered an all expenses paid trip anywhere in the world, where would you go?

India. It has been a constant desire since I was about 6 years old. I want to see as many Ganeshas as I possibly can, see the full moon light up the Taj Mahal, breathe in the air of the Himalayas, sink my toes into a beach in Kerala, launch a lamp onto the Ganges at dusk for my Grandfather, and to witness New Delhi – amongst a catalogue of other things. I also have a hankering to see Canada (and to meet Isa and catch up with my pal Shelley) and to see the Aurora Borealis in Iceland (especially now as they should be at a peak for the next year or two). Can I have one of those round-the-world-many-stop-ticket thingies please? [Ed: yes, and me too so I can go as well.]

7. What book do you wish everyone would read so you could talk about it?

Vegan Freak: Being Vegan in a Non-Vegan World by Bob and Jenna Torres.  

8. What movie makes you cry?

Oh lordy, I am a sap when it comes to movies. In real life, I’m not much of a crier, but the movies can manipulate the crapola outta me and I’ll fall for it every time. I’ve never seen all of ET, just can’t do it, can’t even watch clips of it. Out of Africa nearly killed three generations of the women in my family when I watched it with my mum and grandmother. And then there was Reservoir Dogs. I had an immense crush on Harvey Keitel for a very long time and I thought he was beautiful when he was trying to keep Mr Orange alive. I bawled like a baby and everyone looked at me like I was crazy. They may have had a point.

9. What makes you laugh?

Odd things. Mr Y can make me laugh like a donkey – he’s got a mainline to my funny bone and I couldn’t even explain why most of the time. I love Mighty Boosh and The IT Crowd, and a cornucopia of other tv stuff, but I have to confess to a penchant for Jackass. I know it’s wrong on so many levels but watching a man snort wasabi and then retching inexplicably tickles my funny bone. I can’t lie to you; I’m clearly a base and desolate creature.

10. Are there fairies at the bottom of your garden?

I used to talk to the ones at the bottom of the garden of the house where I grew up. I had my own little plot at the back of the shed where all I grew was a climbing white rose because that was all they wanted. I spent many happy hours there.

Thank you, ma'am. You are a delight.

Know-vember: Mark Walker

In the States, today is Thanksgiving day; depending on who you ask it's either a day to commemorate when the Pilgrims survived the vagaries of New England despite their ignorance and arrogance with considerable help from some of the indigenous folks (who would come to regret that kindness), or it's a day to stuff yourself comatose with all kinds of foods and watch sporting events while ignoring endless family arguments.

Okay, it's also a day to show you're grateful and give thanks, so while I'm grateful for all the friends I'm featuring in Know-vember (and all the ones who didn't let me feature them here >_<) I am especially grateful for this friend. He's why I'll be going back to Scotland for my birthday and Xmas, too. Here's a very sweet picture of Mark with his son Allan.

 

1. What's the first thing you do upon waking in the morning?

I reach for you. If you are not there, I reach for my phone and look for messages from you instead.

2. What's a song you might be persuaded to dance to?

I love to dance so will be quite happy to dance to pretty much anything. Personal favourites include: Panic by The Smiths, ABBA’s Dancing Queen and anything by The Fall. [Ed: smart man!]

3. Where in the world do you live?

I live in a little house in Dundee, Scotland. It looks a bit like Paddy’s market in places but it's home and I like to think full of love.

4. What's a great night out for you?

Good company, something nice to eat, a few drinks and some live music. Pretty much the perfect evening.  

5. What's a great night in?

A little drink perhaps. Nice cozy up on the sofa with a decent film on the telly and a really nice cozy in bed just to finish the night.

6. If you were offered an all expenses paid trip anywhere in the world, where would you go?

It’s a tough call as there are quite a few places I would love to see. The Great Lakes and Northern Scandinavia would be high up the list. If I had to pick just one I would plump for Iceland. It just seems such an amazing place and who knows I might just run into Björk. 

7. What book do you wish everyone would read so you could talk about it?

It would be great if everyone was to read The Bridge by Iain Banks. Then maybe just maybe one of you might be able to tell me what the hell is going on. Other than that my wish would be simply that more people take the chance to read.

8. What movie makes you cry?

Oh dear, this question should have a subtitle of ‘guilty pleasures’; I am a sucker for a RomCom. Bits of Notting Hill have been known to have the old tear ducts in use. My god did I just admit to that? [Ed: yes, yes, you did o_O] ET had me in floods of tears as did the child catcher in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

9. What makes you laugh?

Ah, now we are talking. In no particular order as it would change pretty much on a daily basis. The genius of Peter Cook, Tony Hancock, Sid James, The Goons, The Goodies, Monty Python, Tommy Cooper, Eddie Izzard and Kenneth Williams. Oh and of course, Steptoe and Son.

10. Are there fairies at the bottom of your garden?

Not any more as I have invited them all into the house along with the little people.


Good plan :-) Thanks, sweetie.

Know-vember: Susan

Susan is the third of the Three Mothers with me and Mildred, Mater Suspiriorum. My cat Colette is buried in the backyard of her old house: that's the kind of friends we are. Small critters of all kinds know to trust her. Her home, consequently, is ruled by cats. Her home is an oasis for humans, too -- as long as they know the score. I love being there: kitties to cuddle, screened-in porch at night when it's cool for chatting and drinking, big screen tv for movies and friends who laugh along with Lost Skeleton of Cadavra and The Lost Skeleton Returns! The Three Mothers [plus significant others] Reunions are always a joyful respite. Here Susan is looking lovely at her niece's wedding along with her husband Ron (who's looking surprisingly calm and mayhem-free).





1. What's the first thing you do upon waking in the morning?

Pour myself a cup of coffee and feed the cats. I know, that's two things but they're done simultaneously. Five "starving" moggies wait for no woman (or coffee).

2. What's a song you might be persuaded to dance to?

Almost anything. I used to go dancing a lot and had a dance partner for a while when I was "young" with whom I danced in competitions.

3. Where in the world do you live?

In the middle of the United States bible belt - central North Carolina. Thankfully though due to the influence of several major universities, our area is a fairly liberal and enlightened spot. Not sure I could stand it if it was more, uhm, rural (Trying to be polite).

4. What's a great night out for you?

A nice dinner, great conversation and a good bottle of wine.

5. What's a great night in?

See 4. :)

6. If you were offered an all expenses paid trip anywhere in the world, where would you go?

I have to pick just ONE?!?! Since it's all expenses paid, I'll pick the most expensive - China. Their ancient culture both repels and fascinates me. I would like to explore some of the old cities including the Forbidden City, see the Great Wall and visit the panda preserve. I'm an ancient history buff.   (Spent all day yesterday watching documentaries on ancient Egypt. :) ) 

7. What book do you wish everyone would read so you could talk about it?

The one book I keep going back to (can't really tell you why) is Mary Doria Russell's The Sparrow.   The only science fiction novel that I have read where the aliens were truly ALIEN.  Plus, like Mary, I fell in love with Emilio the first time I read it.  The story is just heartbreaking due to the mistakes made by Emilio and the rest of the crew through trying to map human behavior on an alien culture.   That description isn't quite right (map human behaviour) but I can't summon the right words and emotions at the moment. 

8. What movie makes you cry?


Uh oh.  Gonna reveal my big secret here - it's a tie between Sophie's Choice and Starman.  I think I'll die happy if I never see Sophie's Choice again.

9. What makes you laugh?

My very silly significant other every day we're together. [Ed: I can attest to that. In abundance!]

10. Are there fairies at the bottom of your garden?

Oh most definitely.  They even have a village.

That's why they love your home, too!

Know-vember: Miss Wendy

You knew she would be here: the Patsy to my Edina, she of the big hair, former Elf-Queen (and survivor of many a medieval play), southern gal supreme, Mechademia Submissions editor, connoisseur of Jack Daniels and hostess of the Rosh Hashanah Ragin' Kegger and Toga Parties -- Miss Wendy! I am so happy to know that Miss Wendy will be in Ireland after Xmas and this island nation will never be the same again if we have anything to say about it. Wendy reminded me that we were together last New Year's Eve, too, when I visited her in the home of Faulkner. Ringing in another year -- where will we be in another year's time?! Who can say? :-)

1. What's the first thing you do upon waking in the morning?

Well, this morning I cursed out Pumpkin, my cat, who decided to howl, run laps around the house, and play with what I thought was not a noisy toy at 5:00 this morning (two hours before my alarm). Most mornings, I open a coffee can, savor the smell of the grinds, and make a very strong cup of coffee.

2. What's a song you might be persuaded to dance to?

I am not averse to dancing and have danced to many songs in my life -- some of which I am not proud. I can always be persuaded to dance to a Ramones song.

3. Where in the world do you live?


In my mind, in my house, in the city of Oxford, Mississippi, in the Southern United States, in North America, in the West, on Earth, third planet out.

4. What's a great night out for you?

Dinner at a restaurant in the Latin Quarter, Paris; off-Broadway play in New York; moonlight trip in a rowboat on the Vltava in Prague; and finally late night karaoke with my friends in Tokyo. (I've done three of four. Any one of them would be a wonderful night out).

5. What's a great night in?


Martinis and kung fu movie marathon.

6. If you were offered an all expenses paid trip anywhere in the world, where would you go?

A year in Tokyo; or birdwatching in Costa Rica.

7. What book do you wish everyone would read so you could talk about it?


Haruki Murakami's Hard-Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World; or his short stories The Elephant Vanishes.


8. What movie makes you cry?

These are movies that I like to cry to. They are the ones that I believe have earned my tears. I cry at other movies but either the quality of the cry is not transcendent or the stupid movie has manipulated my tears. Here's a list of the good cries: Akira Kurosawa's Ikiru; Isao Takahata's Grave of the Fireflies; Mike Newell's Enchanted April (a happy, melancholy cry); James L. Brooks' Terms of Endearment (I know, a classic tear-jerker, but darnit, both Debra Winger and Shirley Maclaine are just too good); I'm sure there are classic Hollywood films I am missing here. Kate will send me a list, I'm sure -- yes, I know Dark Victory [Ed: "Did the sun go behind the clouds?".

9. What makes you laugh?

This sums up my sense of humor. It's a cartoon from the New Yorker. I can't find the link but I'll describe it. A clown is sitting at a table in an outdoor cafe. He's holding a balloon and a tear trickles down his cheek. A woman stands at the table, looking like she's about to walk away. She says "If you must know, he makes me laugh." It's the balloon that gets me. I never get tired of it.

10. Are there fairies at the bottom of your garden?


Nope. Cats ate them. 

 Be seeing you, Miss Wendy -- can't wait!

Know-vember: Byron Ballard

Yes, it's your Village Witch, the Appalachian wise woman, Ms Ballard. We first met at the witchcraft conference at Harvard and managed to keep up with one another ever since. I'm hoping Byron will be able to manage a trip over here while I'm in Ireland. Should be wonderful to have her in the land of the ancient Celts -- many megaliths and pubs to visit. Of course she would be welcome company any time, any where.

1. What's the first thing you do upon waking in the morning?

I lie still for a few minutes and imagine the day ahead. Then I get up, put away the futon that is my bed, open the shades at the window. And go pee.

2. What's a song you might be persuaded to dance to?

I will waggle my ample backside to almost any kind of music--yes, I have danced to Mozart's Requiem--but I love classic metal, trad Brit, bluegrass. They require different dances...or do they?

3. Where in the world do you live?

I live in the oldest mountains in the world in the southern highlands of Appalachia. From my window, I can see the third oldest river in the world. So here in NC, I feel pretty young.

4. What's a great night out for you?

A great night out would be seeing a play done well (a rarity), a bottle of excellent French wine, and something delicious to eat--all with friends.

5. What's a great night in?

A few friends in for high tea that morphs into us making dinner, listening to or playing music, telling stories and jokes. Perhaps a fire outside in the fire pit.

6. If you were offered an all expenses paid trip anywhere in the world, where would you go?


My first thought is always either Meath or London but since someone else is picking up the tab, I'll go a bit further afield. Crete or Greece, I think.

7. What book do you wish everyone would read so you could talk about it?


Whichever book I'm reading at the time. Schiff's Cleopatra bio is my current one.

8. What movie makes you cry?

Gad, I cry at all of them. I'm a big sap. So, Love Actually, Calendar Girls all that sentimental rubbish. I love it.

9. What makes you laugh?

I never tire of Hot Fuzz. I've seen it a zillion times and I still fall out at "NWA" on the door of the Neighborhood Watch group.

10. Are there fairies at the bottom of your garden?


Um, yes. I call them the Cousins and we have a fair working relationship in the growing of veg, as long as I remember my place. There is also a disgruntled djinn who can't figure out how to get home and has taken up residence in the shed. Long story, I'll show you the scar sometime.

Thank you!

Publications: Mandrake & Magpies/Songs of Defiance

Just back from a visit with Elena, Rod and Lydia in Dublin where we also managed to run into Bono, Michale Bublé -- and more importantly @sirthopas and Pádraig. Pictures soon! I've also got some good news to share on the publication front.

First, my short story "Mandrake and Magpies" -- the first story to be set in Galway! -- has just appeared in the first international noir anthology, Dark Pages from Trestle Press' new imprint. The ebook is available on Amazon for just $2.99 and gives you a wealth of terrific works from a terrific group of writer including my pal Mr B, who also made an off-hand reference to the classic overwrought pop anthem "MacArthur Park" in his story.

I'm sure my ongoing obsession with magpies surprises no one; the "mandrake" part may be more obscure, but it's a reference to a Fall lyric by MES (of course, I hear you say) and actually featured first in a 140 word story I wrote (still floating around out there somewhere). I feel a bit nervous about having my first story set in Ireland out there, but I had fun making use of the areas I know pretty well now (and making a small swipe at the Gardai immigration office, grrrr). Fun!

And I think my contribution to the Drunk on the Moon series will be out this coming week: It's a Curse which is, ah, also named after a Fall song (>_<). Heh.

On a different tack, the lovely Alessandra Bava and I appear together (literally! on adjoining pages) in the Occupy Wall Street Poetry Anthology. A wonderful cause and the collection made more poignant by the brutal destruction of the OWS library by police the other night. Ale's piece "Sons of Disobedience" appears in both English and Italian. My "Songs of Defiance" originally appeared in the Bayou Review and was composed after the 2004 election, when despair filled the corridors of UHD. The fight never ends.

Know-vember: Paul D. Brazill

Welcome, Mr B, the bard of Hartlepool, the dazzler of Bydgoszcz, intoxicating scribe of darkly funny tales, like the mordantly funny but gruesome Drunk on the Moon. What's better than a werewolf PI? How about six more rip-snorting, can't-put-'em-down stories about Roman Dalton, all just a bargain at 99¢? Best of all, lucky number seven It's a Curse is by yours truly (more on that soon). You'll enjoy getting to know Dalton's dark world. Mr B and I appear together in the pages of the noir issue of Blink|Ink and in the premier International Noir anthology from Dark Pages, a new imprint from Trestle Press (out today!). I could go on, but let's have a few words from the man himself. I suggest you pour yourself a stiff drink first.

1. What's the first thing you do upon waking in the morning?

I never wake up in the morning. I need be up and about for at least three hours before I start to wake up. It usually goes downhill after that.

2. What's a song you might be persuaded to dance to?

Agadoo by Black Lace. Including the movements. Especially the dirty version.

3. Where in the world do you live?

Bydgoszcz. I discovered it after getting a really bad collection of letters when playing scrabble.

4. What's a great night out for you?

Something to do with boozing.

5. What's a great night in?

See above.

6. If you were offered an all expenses paid trip anywhere in the world, where would you go?

The Edith Beales' Grey Gardens.

7. What book do you wish everyone would read so you could talk about it?

Anything written by me. I'd never lose interest.

8. What movie makes you cry?

Terminator: Sarah Connor's fringe is tragic.

9. What makes you laugh?

Bono.

10. Are there fairies at the bottom of your garden?

Yes, but they're buried deep, deep, down.

You're a cruel man, but fair. Cheers.

Know-vember: Barry Leary

I should be in Dublin with Elena and Rod today, which is just as well considering my current guest here: Barry is shy. He's also an artist. We may have been standing next to each other at the big Rothko exhibit at the Tate Modern a few years back, both gazing in rapt awe, but not noticing one another. No, we had to run into each other on Twitter. Fortunately, we did. He's even put in a tentative foot into the Facebook world, though he tends to post a few pictures and then run off again. He can be coaxed out again with sweets, I have discovered.

1. What's the first thing you do upon waking in the morning?

Turn the computer on.

2. What's a song you might be persuaded to dance to?

Dress - PJ Harvey.

3. Where in the world do you live?

Mainly but not exclusively in my head.

4. What's a great night out for you?

No such thing as a great night out at my age :-) (I might be lying)

5. What's a great night in?

A great night in of course means drawing and books and sweets and more books and more drawing and sweets and music. Did I mention sweets ? Hope so.

6. If you were offered an all expenses paid trip anywhere in the world, where would you go?

Rajasthan.
 
7. What book do you wish everyone would read so you could talk about it?

Proust.

8. What movie makes you cry?

Magnolia (but only once).

9. What makes you laugh?

I Heart Huckabees.

10. Are there fairies at the bottom of your garden?

Not under that much concrete I should think.

Or they're suffering if they are o_O! Thank you for letting me bully you into this :-) Here's a lovely photo Barry took: beautiful. And hey, it's Peter Cook's birthday.

Know-vember: Mr Tumshie

All right, it's not his real name, but if you're on Twitter (as so many of us are) that's how you know him. A canny chess player, a friendly chauffeur (^_^) and blipper of tunes, Mr Tumshie keeps us all amused with his sardonic humour. But he won't let me tell you his real name because he's shy. Or the church police are after him. Or maybe it's just a fear of ocelots. Yes, I think it must be the latter.

1. What's the first thing you do upon waking in the morning?

Work out where I am, shortly followed by sighing with disappointment at where I'm not.

2. What's a song you might be persuaded to dance to?

Not sure I should say but the one I find hardest to resist is Night Boat To Cairo by Madness.

3. Where in the world do you live?

I live here -- what a silly question!

4. What's a great night out for you?

A drink with friends, preferably after a concert by a good band.

5. What's a great night in?

Being alone with that special someone -- everything else is just details.

6. If you were offered an all expenses paid trip anywhere in the world, where would you go?

Well, I've been to Paradise but I've never been to me. I looked on maps but couldn't find it so that's where I'd like to go. I hope the weather is better there.

7. What book do you wish everyone would read so you could talk about it?

Tiger's Modern by Grandmaster Tiger Hillarp Persson. For some reason most of my friends don't read chess books. Their loss.

8. What movie makes you cry?

Difficult to answer that one as I'm not much of a one for watching things that make me cry. I have wept with laughter watching Way Out West -- will that do?

9. What makes you laugh?

Lots of things make me laugh. Clever puns are a favourite maybe. Silly cleverness or clever silliness might be a better answer.

10. Are there fairies at the bottom of your garden?

No, the leprechauns chased them all away.

Alas! Thanks, Mr T.

Know-vember: Paul Hamilton

Tuesday is usually Overlooked A/V Day, so it seems entirely appropriate to give the day over to a Know-vemberist who is also in the music world (and the only one to include an advertisement along with his responses). He's pictured here with one of his heroes, Kevin Godley (himself on the left, God on the right). I first met Aitch because of the Peter Cook Appreciation Society for which he has been one of the guiding forces as well as co-author with Peter Gordon of How Very Interesting: Peter Cook's Universe and All That Surrounds It, which I have recommended before. Let the madness ensue --

1. What's the first thing you do upon waking in the morning?

I kick the crackers out of my bed and send them back to Georgia. Then I like to do a spot of light dusting. Why I insist on fluttering at ceiling height placing dust particles on light bulbs is a matter of free choice - and the 12 men pointing guns at me and barking "PUT ZE DUST ON ZER LIGHT!" all day long.

2. What's a song you might be persuaded to dance to?

Discreet Music by Brian Eno turned up incredibly quiet - even better, if the speakers were disconnected from the gramophone. I love a good singalong - that "Yo-o heave-ho" song softly bellowed by freshly-starved oarsman. My ideal job would be as the supplier to their caterer.

3. Where in the world do you live?

In Cognito, a suburb of Limbo. As a would-be record mogul [www.smokingantrecords.com, thrill-seekers], I have found the music industry to be a minefield; everywhere you go, there's always someone shouting "That's MINE! MINE!"

4. What's a great night out for you?

Standing in the street watching my house burn down.

5. What's a great night in?

Looking out the window watching the street burn down.

6. If you were offered an all expenses paid trip anywhere in the world, where would you go?

Somewhere mercifully free of dust-obsessed men pointing guns at me. I was told that Prague was 'an experience' so I went there and there was no experience to be experienced at all. It was just like Leeds but with a slightly more decipherable dialect. The only good thing about Leeds is you get robbed very quickly: I got off the train, went to the first pub I saw and within 10 minutes my wallet was purloined. So I quaffed my half of Orphan's Piss and got the next train home. Perhaps the cutpurses of Leeds knew that I couldn't contain my disappointment any longer. Thanks, boys!

7. What book do you wish everyone would read so you could talk about it?

Yours, of course! [ED: awww] Well - now that you've disconnected the electrodes from my wand o' lust - I'm not a big book reader. Anything over six foot square I find hard to concentrate on; mainly because of the blood in my legs failing to circulate. 'Six Foot Square' - not a bad name for an address…
So, yes, any book that doesn't give me varicose veins or thrombosis is all right in my book (which is extremely small and tethered to a melange of balloons).

8. What movie makes you cry?

As time roars off in a flash car filled with youthful gaiety, leaving me choking on the dust which I must collect and sprinkle on light bulbs, I find that the things that made me hoot with laughter as a bouncing baby (I was born with springs for legs) now distress me. The last 10 minutes of Peter Cook & Dudley Moore's Bedazzled, for example, has me in tears these days - it's so empathetically written (Stanley Moon [crestfallen]: "Being me didn't seem like very much at the time…" George Spiggott: "Well… it wasn't very much… but it's a good deal better than the alternatives." Stanley: "(Sighs)… I'd give… anything… to be myself again but… I don't have anything to give, really, do I?").

9. What makes you laugh?

Yes, the word 'What' makes me laugh [ED: groan]. I bought a magazine called 'What's On TV' in the hope it would list all the programmes that mention the W word. Imagine my crushing disappointment. Suckered by The Man! However, to staunch the flow of sad, sour teardrops, I have a dictionary to hand and can look at the word 'What'. Failing that, I can consult the phone directory and call up some people called 'Watt' and say, 'Watt?' They invariably reply, 'What?' And, whilst fluttering around the ceiling performing my light dusting, I notice that the bulbs are 100 Watts and this has me grinning like a man who has caught a freshly-flung dinner plate with his mouth.

10. Are there fairies at the bottom of your garden?

I have no idea what could be living in Graeme Garden's bottom.

And now the advertisement:

Paul Hamilton's albums include 'Play For Today' by Bisonics and 'Only Two Can Play' by Doug Murphy & Paul Hamilton. Hear, see, feel and sniff  them at https://www.facebook.com/pages/Bisonics/106739522693898 or even BUY them at http://www.smokingantrecords.com/shop/ why don'tcha? Bisonics' second album, 'Seconds' (you see what they did there?), will be unleashed around Xmas/New Year. He has just finished recording another album with Jazz Cattle and has financed 'The Luckless Pedestrian Years' the debut album by G.T. Thomas.

Know-vember: Jeanne Andrew

Meet the fabulous Jeanne Andrew, a most amusing and lovely woman. I met her on Twitter, part of the extended network of Scots that I have somehow found myself amongst. She's a "stand down" comedian and budding screenwriter and writes a blog appropriately named "Funny Girl" -- and she's a lot of fun.

1. What's the first thing you do upon waking in the morning?

Shut off the alarm! If it’s a good morning I bounce out of bed, wake my daughter, get washed and dressed then head downstairs to start making breakfast. On a bad one, I give my partner a dig in the ribs, grunt and go back to sleep.

2. What's a song you might be persuaded to dance to?

Might? I don’t need much persuasion. I’ll boogie on down to almost anything especially while I’m cooking. Right now, my favourite is “You And I” by the Mother Monster herself, Lady Gaga.

3. Where in the world do you live?

I live in Tollcross, which is what you say when you don’t want to admit to living in Parkhead in Glasgow. We live near Tollcross Park.

4. What's a great night out for you?

Great food – Japanese, Spanish tapas or Tex Mex and lots of plum wine, Long Island Iced Tea or frozen margaritas followed by either a cracking movie in a comfy cinema with big seats or even couches like the Grosvenor in Hillhead and a family bag of Maltesers or a rollicking good laugh watching some home-grown stand-up comedy like Janey Godley or Scott Agnew. By then I’m usually flagging…but I’d love to go dancing after. 

5. What's a great night in?

Friends over for some grub and grog and gabbing, preferably round a fire out in the back garden on a starry night.

6. If you were offered an all expenses paid trip anywhere in the world, where would you go?

San Francisco to find Barbary Lane (from Armistead Maupin’s Tales Of The City) and then up to Portland to see Christian Kane playing at Dante’s.

7. What book do you wish everyone would read so you could talk about it?

I don’t hold with there being a “must-read” for everyone because we’re all different. I tend to talk books with my teenage daughter – we like ones such as The Sookie Stackhouse Mysteries by Charlaine Harris or The Chicagoland Vampires series by Chloe Neill.

8. What movie makes you cry?

A Matter Of Life And Death – the Powell and Pressburger one about the British airman played by David Niven who is shoot down in WW2 but doesn’t die as expected and falls in love with an American radio operator played by Kim Hunter. He has to go on trial to stay living. It was my dad’s favourite film.

9. What makes you laugh?

Filth. Absolute filth and bawdy badinage, usually with my Twitter Twibe. Plus great comedians like Janey Godley, Jo Caulfield and Jo Brand. I love “Getting On”.

10. Are there fairies at the bottom of your garden?

If there are then they are like The Wee Free Men. But I fear the dog has eaten them all because I’ve never seen any.

Ah, the poor wee men! Thanks, Jeanne!

Know-vember: Mildred

The stuff of legends! It's Mildred, the Demon Den Mom, wrangler of the Horror in Film and Literature List and Mater Lachrimarum of the Three Mothers. Look -- she's drinking a beer that's not the usual sex-in-a-canoe variety! Hee hee.

1. What's the first thing you do upon waking in the morning?

I have no choice in the matter. First thing is the let the cats out. If I do anything else first, I pay for it later.

2. What's a song you might be persuaded to dance to?


That song doesn't exist.

3. Where in the world do you live?

The middle of nowhere, south central Indiana. We have no close neighbors and we love it that way.

4. What's a great night out for you?

Last night we saw Madeline Albright speak. Tonight is women's basketball. Tomorrow night is The Three Musketeers at the Ruth Halls theater. Saturday we're going to French Lick to spend money at the casino. So, I guess just being out doing something is a great night, though I love just being at home snuggled on the couch watching a DVD with my sweetie.

5. What's a great night in?

Right now the DVDs are Farscape. We've been working our way through the seasons and are almost done.

6. If you were offered an all expenses paid trip anywhere in the world, > where would you go?


Probably a small town in Ireland. [Yes, please!]


7. What book do you wish everyone would read so you could talk about it?

The Stand, so we could talk about its myriad problems.

8. What movie makes you cry?

Knightrider. Every time. I know George Romero has really lost it, but in his day, he made fantastic movies.

9. What makes you laugh?

The amazing funny pictures that make the rounds on-line.

10. Are there fairies at the bottom of your garden?


I suspect there are and that's the reason the cats love it so much out there. 

Thanks, Mildred: I sorely miss having the usual Three Mothers [+ Birdie and Ron] Reunion this year. I hope you two can come visit me.

Know-vember: Debi

The lovely Debi, gardener supreme, patient woman, Albacon wrangler -- romance fan! Here she is brunching with me at Café Madison. I miss meals together! Come to Ireland, all right?

What's the first thing you do upon waking in the morning?

When I wake up first thing, I might pick up the book at my bedside to read. or if something more interesting is in my bed I might enjoy that too, or I might stroll into the shower and pretend I'm in a outdoor shower in the tropics.

Where in the world do you live?

I live in a very nice house, big enough to be a castle.

What's a great night out for you?

A great night out would be dinner, company of good friends mixed company.

What book do you wish everyone would read so you could talk about it?

Stephanie Laurens, Devil's Bride.

What makes you cry?

Sadness, hunger, poverty, injustice, it also makes me angry.

What makes you laugh?

A good funny story.

Are there fairies at the bottom of your garden?

I do believe there are faieries in the garden, also elves and pixies and if you aren't careful you might catch a 4 legged creature, or it might catch you. and don't forget the so called 2 legged. Next time you're in the garden, look very carefully, behind the tree the shadows that linger, under the burning bushes there are extra little mushrooms growing. by the rosebush there are extra little foot marks.

Thanks, Debi! Miss you.

Know-vember: Lovely Dundee

We're taking a brief detour from people to get to know a city: Dundee. I haven't been to Scotland for decades! What a delight to return. And I had never been to Dundee, so it was all a pleasant surprise to me to get to know the land of McGonagall.

The Tay gives the city its distinctive flavour and the Gulf Stream provides its unexpected warmth. And the haar! The thick fog nearly kept me from leaving Scotland (which I wouldn't have minded at all).

Speaking of unexpected warmth :-) I found the locals to be very friendly: Mark, my native guide, showed me the ropes in his town and made me feel right at home.

It wouldn't be Scotland without a tribute to Robbie Burns. The statue sits outside the McManus, Dundee's Art Gallery and Museum.

And one of the attractions at the museum is the Tay Whale, who hangs over the main exhibit hall.

One of the delights of the city are all the whimsical sculptures. These penguins appear around the back of a church near a shopping centre.

What better way to honour Captain Scott, whose ship the RRS Discovery can be found docked on the Tay (more penguins there!).

But here's an impish monkey playing with the letters on the signboard...

And here's DC Thomson's famed Dundee residents, Desperate Dan and Dawg with Minnie the Minx.

The star may be the fabulous Dundee Dragon...

But how wonderful is the Lion and the Unicorn clock? See it in action here.

Britannia tops a building that was once a bank; Mark showed me a Ladbrokes, too, that had been a bank and had a gloriously baroque ceiling. We were probably the only people to look up at it for some time. Everyone else had their eye on the screens and their betting forms.

And here on the same building, perhaps Abundantia, the goddess of prosperity. Given the hard times Scotland's facing at present, more offerings should be left at her feet.

The Howff, Dundee's beautiful city cemetery: a gorgeous and peaceful place.

I will have to take more photos here when I go back; I know my cemetery-loving pals will appreciate them. Great history.

The beauty of a chance photo. I don't know why I like this snap so much, but I do.

This one, too: I call it "£25 Pink Moon" in honour of Nick Drake's lovely song (although clearly it's the sky not the moon that's pink >_<). This was about twilight on Guy Fawkes Night. We went over to Baxter Park to catch the fireworks. A crisp clear night and quite beautiful.

Inevitably, people ask about haggis. The "Scottish" shop in the airport had piles of it. There it remains. I was not tempted. The green labels indicate "vegetarian haggis" -- no, not sure what's in it.

I wasn't able to resist these coasters though. Pleased I already knew these words, though that's probably mostly due to Terry (thanks again for being my chauffeur, by the way). Thanks to Mark and his boys for a warm welcome. I had a very lovely time.

It's been a good week: I was art! And look, I had an insect named after me! Here's Kate with Irfaan, as photographed by Ayub at the Butterfly World Project (a wonderful place that's helping preserve those beauties). Life is good.

Know-vember: S. L. Johnson

Yes, it's herself -- fresh from a triumphant debut gallery show opening this past weekend, it's the Queen of Everything and fabulous artist, S. L. Johnson. I'm not just saying that because she designed the lovely Cult of Kaity logo or the cover of the forthcoming collection, Triumph of the Carpet Beetle, or made me look gorgeous in her art show :-) No! I love her work and I love her, she's amazing. I persuaded her to take a break from her furious working and socialising schedule to answer my questions (albeit somewhat enigmatically).

1. What's the first thing you do upon waking in the morning?  

Open my eyes....   

2. What's a song you might be persuaded to dance to? 

"Motorhead" by Motorhead 

3. Where in the world do you live?

My own little.   

4. What's a great night out for you?

Good friends, drinks, music, art.   

5. What's a great night in?

Good friends, good food, good chat or movies.  

6. If you were offered an all expenses paid trip anywhere in the world, where would you go?

Iceland. 

7. What book do you wish everyone would read so you could talk about it?

Promethea or Alice In Wonderland & Through the Looking Glass.

8. What movie makes you cry?

Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf. Every damn time. 

9. What makes you laugh?

Wit. Slapstick.   

10. Are there fairies at the bottom of your garden?

You need to ask? 

And you're a big fan of The Fall, right? [ducks] Hee hee hee!