Whoosh, Whomp & Whoogah

Photo by Eileen Smith

Okay, sue me -- I love alliteration. It's the Anglo-Saxon and Old Norse poetry what are to blame. Besides, these are words that are fun to say out loud. Go on, do it. I'll wait.

Okay? So the "whoosh" is because January is nearly done. Eeek! How has the first month of 2012 passed by so quickly? I suppose starting off the year with a fun visit from Miss Wendy and then beginning to teach a course has something to do with that. And I have been writing madly, too. Another whoosh must be the wings of the now-captured Clepington Owl, so alas, I will not get a chance to see her when I get back to Dundee shortly. I'm sure the cats are glad. Yes, more PR from the zeitgeist in advance of Owl Stretching. Hope to hear the release date soon!

I have a short story up at Short-Story.Me -- a little gruesome tale called "Yuletide Feast" that probably would have been a little more timely last month, but you know how it is. I actually wrote this years ago and recently discovered that it had not been published (how does that go, you may ask: well, scrolling through my Stories folder looking for something that I can't remember what title I gave >_< and seeing a title that I also don't remember... see why I need minions?!) and sent it off. Bingo. 

I have also received an award from the lovely Jeanne Andrew: The Versatile Blogger Award. The rules of this harmless bit of fun are: to thank those that nominated you; to copy-and-paste the award logo in your own blog; to tell your readers seven random facts about you; and to nominate further blogs that you follow, and let them know.

Right, here goes: Thank you, Funny Girl Jeanne. You are a delight of my Twitter timeline :-)



Seven random things about me:

1) My favourite thing on the new iPad: bongos! Seriously.
2) I watched Jaws for the umpteenth time last night and it never gets old.
3) I like to sing along with Dusty Springfield and make all her dramatic arm gestures.
4) I wish I could have met Peter Cook just once, to see those eyes and hear that laugh.
5) I want to write sparkling prose that will live forever; I get around the anxiety and paralysis this causes by telling myself, "Well, not today obviously."
6) There is an indestructible happiness inside me.
7) I don't know where the stories I write come from; I just try to be friends with my head, as the great Russell Hoban put it, and simply write down what it tells me. So far, that's been working out.

Right: so here are some blogs you ought to be checking out, i.e the award winners! Some of these will be to give a kick in the muse for the folks I point to, as they have been neglectful of their blogs [gives severe look]. I see Mr B has already received one recently, so I won't add him to the list, but you should always drop by his gaff for some laffs (yes, spelled that way).

Lochee has has not updated his blog since posting some fetching pictures of Karen Gillan. Tsk!

The fabulous QoE always has some wonderful new art up. Stop by and show her the love.

Miss Wendy will surely have some stories to share about her visit here soon.

The poet of Rome, Alessandra, always has lovely things to share. Her sweetie, John, always has some darkness to offer, too.

The lovely jubbly Chloë also has a blog! She will delight and amuse you.

Have you checked out the Apocalypse Girls? If not, why not! And while you're at it, be sure to drop by UnBound to catch up on all the latest. They will be covering Alt.Fiction, where I will be doing a one-on-one with Graham Joyce (gulp!) about the darkness of fairy tales, as well as another explaining why pretty much all Alan Moore adaptations suck -- and probably reading some flash fiction in the open mic.

The usual suspects: if you're reading my blog, chances are you already read Todd, Patti and Elena as well: if you don't I simply have to ask, Are you mad?! Hee. You have all been given the versatile blogger award: no speeches required, just take a moment to reflect on the work that you've done and pat yourself on the back.

Well, that should give the rest of you plenty to get started reading. Are you blogging? Do I know that? Should you be sending me a link? That's the thing: we're all busy people. I won't know you've written something unless you tell me (see how I trumpet every little thing here). Share your words -- that's why you write, isn't it? Whoogah!

Know-vember: Chloë

What is more awesome than awesome? It has to be the lovely Chloë! She sent me absinthe chocolates. That would already make her more awesome than awesome, but she's also hilarious and has adorable Maudie to help with the awesomeness, too. We finally got to meet in Derby this year at Alt.Fiction after having lots of laughs on line. Not surprisingly, we had lots of laughs in person too. How awesome is that? Very awesome! Like Chloë. Here she is with a ladybird hat & Mr Y.

1. What's the first thing you do upon waking in the morning?

Think "oh fuck, not this again" and then get a kick in the head from Maud the dog who objects to me being compos mentis as it generally involves me moving and disturbing her.

2. What's a song you might be persuaded to dance to?

I could probably be persuaded to dance to anything because I’m easily led, let's get that clear early on – and I’m especially easy once I've had a few, ahem, blackcurrant cordials. I have a fond memory of dancing in a student night club to "I Touch Myself" by the Divinyls and putting the fear of god into the tiny student girls and boys (I was a “mature” student) with my earthy hip movements … Nowt better than scaring the children.

3. Where in the world do you live?

Fribourg, Switzerland. It’s the city that all the other Swiss cities look down on. And they shouldn’t because Fribourg is shiny. As long as you don’t mind life at a molasses slow pace and occasionally being bored titless.

4. What's a great night out for you?

Unexpected nights out - ones that are organised last minute or when you think to yourself, "This is going to be average, so I'll just have a couple and then get an early night" only to wind up crawling home, full of Jägermeister or some other deadly concoction at three in the morning. Which makes me sound like a lush ... okay, I confess. In truth, the best nights are the ones where you can relax and talk to the people around you and not feel awkward. That’s all I really ask.  

5. What's a great night in?

Me, Mr Y and a paddle. Not that kind of paddle either. Ain’t no creeks round here.

6. If you were offered an all expenses paid trip anywhere in the world, where would you go?

India. It has been a constant desire since I was about 6 years old. I want to see as many Ganeshas as I possibly can, see the full moon light up the Taj Mahal, breathe in the air of the Himalayas, sink my toes into a beach in Kerala, launch a lamp onto the Ganges at dusk for my Grandfather, and to witness New Delhi – amongst a catalogue of other things. I also have a hankering to see Canada (and to meet Isa and catch up with my pal Shelley) and to see the Aurora Borealis in Iceland (especially now as they should be at a peak for the next year or two). Can I have one of those round-the-world-many-stop-ticket thingies please? [Ed: yes, and me too so I can go as well.]

7. What book do you wish everyone would read so you could talk about it?

Vegan Freak: Being Vegan in a Non-Vegan World by Bob and Jenna Torres.  

8. What movie makes you cry?

Oh lordy, I am a sap when it comes to movies. In real life, I’m not much of a crier, but the movies can manipulate the crapola outta me and I’ll fall for it every time. I’ve never seen all of ET, just can’t do it, can’t even watch clips of it. Out of Africa nearly killed three generations of the women in my family when I watched it with my mum and grandmother. And then there was Reservoir Dogs. I had an immense crush on Harvey Keitel for a very long time and I thought he was beautiful when he was trying to keep Mr Orange alive. I bawled like a baby and everyone looked at me like I was crazy. They may have had a point.

9. What makes you laugh?

Odd things. Mr Y can make me laugh like a donkey – he’s got a mainline to my funny bone and I couldn’t even explain why most of the time. I love Mighty Boosh and The IT Crowd, and a cornucopia of other tv stuff, but I have to confess to a penchant for Jackass. I know it’s wrong on so many levels but watching a man snort wasabi and then retching inexplicably tickles my funny bone. I can’t lie to you; I’m clearly a base and desolate creature.

10. Are there fairies at the bottom of your garden?

I used to talk to the ones at the bottom of the garden of the house where I grew up. I had my own little plot at the back of the shed where all I grew was a climbing white rose because that was all they wanted. I spent many happy hours there.

Thank you, ma'am. You are a delight.