Writer Wednesday: Flash!

Because everything's more exciting with an exclamation mark at the end (sledgehammer! verrucas! antidisestablishmentarianism!), yes -- it's National Flash Fiction Day! All right, so only in the UK, officially -- but since I live in Ireland I don't have to listen to what the Queen says anyway, so she can't tell me not to write about flash fiction.

Jubilee, my arse!

Sorry, channeling Jim Royle for a moment (how apropos!). I like writing flash: when a long project gets stuck, often the best way to get unstuck is to write something short but complete. Clears the brain.

So here's my flash fiction you can read on line right now, hastily copied and pasted from the bibliography. All are a thousand words or less, so plenty of time to read one even in your busy schedule. How else would you celebrate? If you feel so moved, why not write a flash story in the comments or paste a link to one you've got up somewhere. Share the wealth -- even if it's only a bite. Some also come in easy listening audio form and some are -- gasp -- poetry. Others may contain language unsafe for gentle ears. You have been warned:



“Biscuits.” Flash fiction. Short Humour, May 2012. Also available at Postcard Shorts, May 2012.

“Bill is Dead.” Flash fiction. Pulp Metal Magazine, Spring 2012.

“Words.” Flash fiction/podcast. Dogcast 5: March 2012.

“Mandrake Anthrax.” Short story. A Twist of Noir, 14 Dec 2011.

“Soap Opera Digest.” Humour. Dragnet Magazine 2 (Jul 2011): 40-42.

“There was a Professor of English.” Poem. Asinine Poetry (Apr 2011). Also an AudioBoo.

“A Charming Situation.” Short story. Written for the Sherlocking fan site: now free on Scribd (Nov 2010).

 “The Last Ant.” Humour. Wild Violet 9.2 (2010).

“Rothko Red.” Audio version available at Soundcloud, also included in Dogcast 12.

“Wixey.” Flash fiction. Wild Violet 8.1 (2009).

“The Princess and Her Pig.” Poem. New Fairy Tales 1 (Oct 2008): 18-19. Soundcloud.

“Diva Soup." Soundcloud. 2008.

 “Corrections to the Rules of Fimble Fowl (for 3 players or 4).” Humor. Wild Violet 6.2 (2007).

When Little Joe the Krampus Met. Chapbook with The Joey Zone (Dec 2003). Soundcloud.

“The Eleventh Commandment.” Rictus 9 (Apr 1997).

And of course my very first publication, the one Clive Barker called, "full of fluent style and poetic dialogue" (swoon):

“Revelation.” The Official Clive Barker Page, www.clivebarker.com. Winner, MGM/United Artists/Clive Barker’s Lord of Illusions Short Story Contest, November 1995.

Now I have some postcards to read!