It has long been my position that wombats are superior beasts: the only marsupial with a rearward facing pouch (for ease in digging). I've become equally convinced that more people should have access to wombats, though restrictions of the international trade in truly odd animals make that difficult. The solution, naturally enough, is to provide people with wombat kits. All we need to do is observe what pregnant wombats eat and learn, therefore, what baby wombats are made from. Then, we observe what infant and adolescent wombats eat, in order to learn what makes small wombats into large ones. Finally, we collect a set of all those foodstuffs (asking people to provide their own water) along with highly detailed anotomical diagrams and step-by-step instructions for wombat creation.
Brilliant, me matey -- you clearly are ready for membership in the Wombat World Domination League (WWDL). Among the plans in our manifesto -- 1) complete world domination by wombats in the year 2525; 2) Domination of all astral spheres fairly soon after; 3) Bodily removal from this planet of al who self-identify as "compassionate conservatives"; 4) Elimination of spindly insects; and 5) designation of lay beatification for Peter Edward Amadeus Cook. Join today and begin collecting all the stamps.
4 comments:
Arrrr! It be INTERNATIONAL Talk Like a Pirate Day now! Well, shick mich zu den Haien!
Avast! Ye'll be happy ta ken that the good ship BoingBoing be spreadin' the good word too.
It has long been my position that wombats are superior beasts: the only marsupial with a rearward facing pouch (for ease in digging). I've become equally convinced that more people should have access to wombats, though restrictions of the international trade in truly odd animals make that difficult. The solution, naturally enough, is to provide people with wombat kits. All we need to do is observe what pregnant wombats eat and learn, therefore, what baby wombats are made from. Then, we observe what infant and adolescent wombats eat, in order to learn what makes small wombats into large ones. Finally, we collect a set of all those foodstuffs (asking people to provide their own water) along with highly detailed anotomical diagrams and step-by-step instructions for wombat creation.
Arrr profits will add up to many dubloons.
Brilliant, me matey -- you clearly are ready for membership in the Wombat World Domination League (WWDL). Among the plans in our manifesto -- 1) complete world domination by wombats in the year 2525; 2) Domination of all astral spheres fairly soon after; 3) Bodily removal from this planet of al who self-identify as "compassionate conservatives"; 4) Elimination of spindly insects; and 5) designation of lay beatification for Peter Edward Amadeus Cook. Join today and begin collecting all the stamps.
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